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Location: Virginia, United States
Return to Act 4

ACT 1:
Entered convent at age 18 with twin sister, left after 2 years
ACT 2:
Married, had 3 fantastic daughters, divorced after 10 years
ACT 3:
Remarried for 20 years, divorcing
ACT 4:
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Monday, October 31, 2005

Too Good to Be True


Sometimes the posts on Match.com are laughable. I have to share this one. Now, you can certainly understand that this picture stands out - practically shouts out - over all the rest. Supposedly this guy is 61 - one would have to believe he has a few years on the pic (if it's even him!)....but add 10-20 years and my guess is he still would look somewhat charming.

Now here is his John Wayne approach:

I am 5'9 with a slim to average build. I have brown hair going to silver. Still physically active. All equipment still functioning. I like the physical aspects of a relationship. Love to socialize, do not smoke, drink a social glass now and then, really enjoy a lot of good friends, take care of my mind, body, and equipment. I miss the special times with an attentive women.She should be an easy going person. Love to take care of her man alone. Should be perky, cute, warm loving person, fun, outgoing sexy and classy. Parties, movies, dinners picnics, week-end trips, or driving--etc. I like country music, pop and lite rock. she can change my address to hot mail. Wouldn't it be nice if I found someone who liked to do the same things, too. I would like to hold hands and cuddle up very close with someone special. You should be touchy feely person and adore affection and not prudish.

Don't you just want to ride off into the sunset with him?

Hey! That's happens AFTER the ride!
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Traffic was a killer today. It was my official FLEX Day off but, because of 'items on fire' I thought it best to show up at work. However, I took my time in the morning and suffered for it on the commute in. But that could not compare to the the nightmarish trip home. Was it because of the time change - people annoyed with the sudden darkness? Did all the Draculas and Ax Murderers come out of the woodwork on this Halloween night?
GISH! I don't mind a little backup but when it starts to take 30 minutes to creep from one stop light to the next, you can start to feel the adrenaline rising both in you and your neighbors! Lane dominance is the only thing on everyone's mind - those who cheat and try to worm in after storming up an right turn only lane; the horn honkers who try to intimidate you; the clear messages received from hands flung out the window.

I gripped the wheel and prayed: "please God, just get me home safe"!

I came to the mother of all intersections, where the light sequences result in a good 5 minute waits between green lights. I knew it would happen - no room to pass through the intersection - I knew better than to play gridlock, so I stopped......... Oh Man did I hear the horn honks from at least three cars behind me! Don't get out of your cars!!!


Finally made it to the Toll road but could see the next manuever would be tricky. 3 lanes of traffic had to merge into one as we funneled out to the Toll road. At this point in everyone's commute - the road rage was ripe! There was no courtesy - it was kill or be killed. I stayed the course - ignored the horns - gently pressed my way into finally I made it in. Wow I do not want to experience that again! It was down right spooky!!

--The Leading Lady-- | 7:38 PM | 10 comments


Saturday, October 29, 2005

Welcome - New Computer!




I have been like a fish out of water for the last week suffering from computer withdrawal. The ole PC finally died on me. It contracted some nasty virus and began moving files around, teasing and annoying me to no end and then, in a last fit of nastiness, locked up!

MommaK and SIL came to the rescue! MommaK was ecstatic actually that the dinosaur had finally let out its last breath. So the two computer gurus put their heads together, designed a system to meet my unsophisticated needs, shopped the net separately and then compared prices, eventually arriving at a super speed Dell mother of computers!

I had the rather large package delivered at work and tipped our cute UPS guy to load it into my car. In the evening, as I left work, I borrowed the hand-truck and as I was struggling to lift it into the car the thought occurred to me that I might have some difficulty getting the box out of the car and up to my unit. Well, I'd just wait in the garage until a man came along. I did not want to leave it the car, way too much of an invitation!

Fate, or luck was on my side. A young woman pulled in a couple spaces near me and we began to start talking as she thought I was just moving in (seeing the large box and hand truck). Katie and I struck up a quick friendship and I told her what I had just purchased. She kindly offered to help me and stayed with me all the way to my unit as we steered the truck through the doorways and elevator! Remind me not to go into the Moving and Storage business.

Friday night my SIL drove up after the annual Halloween party at school (God, I feel bad he had to do that!) and set up my new operating system with all kinds of fancy new features. I learned about how to set up a Play list, rip a song off a CD (sounds a bit harsh!). I always feel stupidly inadequate when it comes to technology yet at work I am probably one of the most enabled.

But I admit I do not and cannot keep up with all the advancements. I have to depend on the youngins to teach me. I am thinking I might take some Get to know Windows courses on line. Maybe after Christmas, way to much going on right now!

Had dinner tonight with a special girlfriend. I do so enjoy our occasional get-togethers. She is single as well and has rip-roaring stories about the dating fiascos she experienced through the local newspaper personals. What amazed me is that she actually could get guys to take her out up to 4 times before they began to try any get to know you better routines. That was a few years ago, my experience was that the action was expected to happen AT the second date. I do not know, maybe I sent different signals.


So I am up and running again!!! (The computer, that is!)

--The Leading Lady-- | 11:40 PM | 9 comments


Monday, October 17, 2005

Home Cookin!

Sunday was a special 'family day' at Unga's house. MommaK and her girls came over along with AM and her special 'squeeze'. Under one condition!! The Redskin game needed to be turned on! I laugh thinking about how many Fall and Winter dinners are timed just right to coincide with either half time or the end of the mighty football game. And honestly, regardless of my lack of 'passion' for the sport, I have always felt that the two should work in harmony instead of in conflict. Another example of the 'antithesis' of my mother's behavior. She COMPETED with football! Dinner was 'ready' (which meant drop everything and be at the table in a ) somewhere between the 3rd and 4th quarter and my father would belabor leaving the TV as long as possible. This would lead to temper tantrums, crying and eventual silence - deadly silence! The happy dinner scene would be ruined as each of the children would try and coax our parents into some meaningless dialogue just to cut the tension. This annual recurring program was especially pathetic on Thanksgiving where football and eating are truly merged into one American ritual.

Unga's Potato Creation

Here I am pulling a most scrumptious potato dish from the oven, gloved in my fortified Pampered Chef gear. Check out the new hairdo! What do you think with the Martha Stewart flip. More on the potatoes: they are a blend of baking potatoes and yams as well as baked garlic, rosemary and a little butter and milk. You could call them Halloween Potatoes by their rich orange color! The Yams (used Organic!) gave a sweet touch! One guest (remains nameless) who hates sweet potatoes complemented me on the yummy cheese potatoes. Hmmm
Unga, AM & the chicken
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This is a very hot dish (and I don't mean my daughter either!) It's MommaK's Chicken/Mushroom/Bacon and cheese dish which was beginning to burn my hands as I waited for this picture to be taken!
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Realty Check!
I was having one of those days at work where everything was going wrong. After driving 25 miles with a business associate to a meeting I found out that I had the time wrong and was 4 hours early. He had a plane to catch in 2 hours - luckily he was up here for more than just my meeting! While driving him to National Airport he mentioned that, considering the way my day was going, I should just drive home after dropping him off. So I'm thinking...it IS a full moon period - best concentrate on my driving.
Stopped at a local grocery store to pick up a quick salad for lunch and as I was walking back to my car in the parking lot, I guess I stepped on a stone which threw me off balance. There was nothing to reach out to grab (where is man when you need one!) so I found myself 'going down' - somewhat in slow motion - probably about 30 feet in front of an oncoming car. I'm thinking "If you have to go down at least try to do this as gracefully as possible!" I don't think that is what happened! While I crumbled onto my right elbow and hip the contents of my grocery bag and purse littered a ten foot area around me. I knew I had to get up - and quickly (the car did stop as the driver watched my performance) but my body was telling me it's really ok to just stay still. I felt searing pain in my arm and hip but not of the 'broken bone' variety - I think. I managed to get up on my feet, stagger around to pick up my litter (I'm sure I looked intoxicated!) and started to walk to my car. He then kindly drove by and asked if I was ok. God did I feel like an old lady! I got in the car and sat there for quite a while before driving back to work. I was amazed at how traumatized I felt from a simple fall! I remember as a kid just jumping right back up and ignoring the scrapes and bruises. Well, I have to admit I did milk the sympathy of my co-workers at my return to the office. They cleaned and medicated my elbow, hand and knee, fixed me some tea, and gave me Tylenol for my throbbing pain.
I don't think I want that to happen again any time soon!

--The Leading Lady-- | 5:15 PM | 15 comments


Friday, October 14, 2005

Wow! I feel Special!!

THIRTEEN FOR THURSDAY (on Friday)


1) The drama of the postal carrier going postal is subsiding. Except he should be receiving some undeliverable letters back to his mailbox. Suspect his mother may ask what they are all about!


2) Need to plan a yummy dinner for 2nd daughter and BF who are visiting Sunday - maybe even MommaK too.



3) Job Tuesday was measuring 7 new Singer members for dresses and vests. Can be awkward wrapping the tape measure around certain circumferences! You think people would try and give you a little assistance. I practically had to lay my head on their chests to reach behind them. Come to think of it, the men didn't seem to mind. Delicately dealing with sizing is also a hoot. "There's no way I'm a 14 - order me a 10"... .....trust me, miss Godzilla bust, the sizes run very small!


4) Our mother has announced that she will sell the beach condo this summer - after 29 years of memories. It is just too difficult for her to make the trip back and forth at her age. So we tentatively are thinking of a 'girls week' down there in July - a one more last time together. I think the sadness comes mostly from the wonderful times we had with B-Bob; the grandfather of them all! I suspect we'll look at albums, tell stories, and all do our share of crying.


5) I'm not totally feeling my best because of a slight 'internal' infection that has me taking antibiotics. During the night and again on the way to work this morning, I think I had a reaction from the drugs that seemed to turn my stomach inside out! More like heartburn from hell with severe back pain. Was even contemplating whether I was having a heart attack as I have read that this is a typical symptom in women. But the 'condition' has subsided - I have two more days on the meds. :(


6) I wish I could vicariously benefit from all of MommaK's exercise and dieting! I have found two of the cutest (yes, cocktail dresses) that I need to fit into. Is that a dirty word?? Where DOES it come from, Hoss?


7) I confronted an angry co-worker who totally lost his cool with me in front of clients. Told him that if he EVER tried that again, I would refuse to work with him . We had a cooling off period but now we are best friends again and I've noticed a heightened respect. Wow! It's such hard work for me to do that!


8) Looking forward to celebrating JOYFUL holidays with my girls this year. Last year was rough during the 'transition'. No decorating - MommaK saved the day!


9) Committed to staying with daughter #2 next month and play 'teachers' aide' for the day. She's been teaching for 5 years now and I still haven't seen her in action! Can't wait!


10) I have a friend who is suffering from depression, lives by herself, and rarely does anything but work-home trips. Keep trying to get her to come over for the night, go out to dinner or movies and she always claims she is too tired. Wish I knew how to help her.


11) Love Life Update (for Hoss and FTS) Nix, Nil ,Natta! Like I said I'm going to try to focus more on the Single groups. There were some guys at the auction Saturday as the volunteer group always pairs an even number of guys to gals for every event. But no exciting chemistry - just a good time together. Romeo KEEPS calling me and I hadn't answered for a long time in hopes he would just go away but then answered the phone by mistake the other day and had to fain all kinds of excuses. I need to write him the 'kiss of death' email - or maybe forward the rainbow greeting card to him. There is one other guy who is corresponding from Southern MD - nice but a little close to ex-territory.


12) I received a lesson in how to compute Capital Gains Tax from big brother (the ladybug dad) when I began to spazz over the possibility of having to pay a huge tax on the sale of my house. I had my information a bit mixed up. Whew!


13) Isn't my new look just fantastic? I love it! Thanks to MommaK who bought me my makeover. It feels great!

--The Leading Lady-- | 7:00 AM | 10 comments


Thursday, October 13, 2005

The New Me

Soooooooo.....what do you think?

--The Leading Lady-- | 12:21 PM | 8 comments


Sunday, October 09, 2005

Cool Opportunity!

One of my decisions of late was to switch off from the one-on-one dating scene that Match.com offers and look into Single Groups. I recently joined two in our area:
1) SVDC (Single Volunteers of DC)
2) Sterling Singles
Each of the groups provides opportunities for both social volunteer activities in the DC/No.VA area. I have been scouting the upcoming events of each group and trying to coordinate available time with work, singing and family and have not until last night been able to make a commitment.

In a nearby town, a Church was putting on an Art Auction as a fundraiser. Since it was close by and interested me, I volunteered. What I didn't expect to happen and probably should have anticipated ( since our own Singers fundraiser of last month went down the tubes) was that only 7 people actually registered for 'paddles' to bid. Now, with about 150 pieces of art and 17 participants (10 being our volunteer group) the odds were in OUR favor that we could latch onto so good art at the initial bidding price or less!

I am not at liberty to mention just how WELL I did since Santa will be soon on his way, but let's say I got one painting at the initial bid price and another at $50 below bid price! I CAN tell you that I wanted a gold framed mirror for over my couch in the living room but let one pass by because the auctioneer refused to lower the price under the initial bid. At the end of the evening, after the auction was completed I walked up to him and asked him the price again of the mirror. He came back with 10% off. HA! Somehow I managed to carry the mirror up to my condo but will need to ask manly assistance from SIL to hang it! I shall provide pictures at a later date!

We were treated like royalty from the fundraising group and it was a very enjoyable night. My job was registering all 7 of the participants (not too strenuous) and then help load the remaining artwork onto a truck. All in all I helped the fundraiser in both $ and volunteer time and came away with some good deals and possibly new friendships!

--The Leading Lady-- | 4:02 PM | 9 comments


Saturday, October 08, 2005

Recurring Nightmare!

The separation agreement was finalized in February after months of 'discussion'. The house went on the market in March and sold within two weeks at a good price. I found a condo just my size in Virginia and settled in late April. It is now almost six months since my life turned upside down and during this time I have had no written or physical contact with my exhusband. I expected that he had also begun the rhythm of a new life and certainly wish him well!

Driving home from a business trip Wednesday I received a call from MommaK who described receiving certified and registered letter which she had just signed for - from the 'ex'. It contained copies of two different letters addressed to me along with copies of various financial documents which were constructed during our efforts to separate our assets. The letter also contained a copy of a MLS which indicated the selling price of the house. Our assumption is that he finally decided to check on the sale price - six month after the sale. His letters were poorly written and ached with bitterness. His intention, which he documented in each letter, was to send copies of what I would consider our private financial dealings to my mother, three siblings and three daughters in hopes that I would be shamed into paying him more money.

My mother had also signed for the letter and was angered as well at his tactics. That evening I sent email requests to my siblings and other two daughters asking them to respect my privacy and not accept the letter. I am embarrassed more for him that anyone else should see this lunacy.

I know that a Legal Separation agreement is a contract that can only be amended or dissolved by the mutual agreement of both parties or proof of misrepresentation or omission of assets. I doubt that his copying my entire family on personal information would have been advice from an attorney. For those who don't know, he agreed in the Separation Agreement to release the house to me and he kept the beach property (land).

Would he really try to sue for misrepresentation when I was as clueless as any other homeowner would be as to what result the housing market would bring me? I was equally concerned that a required home inspection would uncover areas of damage or decay that would have to be corrected before the new owner would accept the contract. The house was almost 50 years old - I expected there would be some issues. So any net gain was a crapshoot! I wouldn't have expected in a million years that the new owner was so anxious to move in that she waived the home inspection and added additional value to the contract. What can I say - God is good! Do I feel like I owed him any share of the value + from the sale? No. The value on the beach property also has risen by almost 6 times the value of our original loan - I'm happy for him!

I am not responding to the letter - he will see at least three letters, including mine, returned to him as undeliverable. That should be a clear message. It's hard to say what my siblings will do - I hope they don't sign for it but it's possible they didn't receive my email request in time. I truly hope they don't do anything that could possibly cause a 'permanent' division is our family.

Let's hope I'll hear no more on this!

--The Leading Lady-- | 2:41 PM | 9 comments