Act 4

Good Grief - I've Created a Monster!

2006-01-26T20:45:00.000-05:00

** Image removed due to Public Demand**

It started with a few email exchanges left over from my Match.com days. He lives outside of Annapolis and plays violin for the Annapolis Symphony; a retired music education teacher. His emails were witty and intelligent and I was drawn to his love for music.

He was anxious to meet and insisted on talking on the phone. I offered my cell number and he called the following night. What followed was 1 and 1/2 hours of hearing about his failed marriage; why he was forced to retire from teaching; listening to selections of music which were hard to appreciate over a cell phone. Ok - he seemed a bit over the top as far as trying too hard to make an impression. A few off color remarks were uttered but I let them slide although I was surprised to hear them on a first conversation. He began a barrage of emails and calls to me while at work the next day. That night I mentioned that I really cannot take personal calls during work hours but I take me lunch from 12-1 and am sometimes in the office during this time. I also cautioned him that (1) I go to bed early and would prefer not receiving phone calls after 9 pm (2) my mother was spending the weekend with me and I would prefer not receiving ANY calls while she is here.

Four times he called over the weekend with a continued stream of emails. Luckily I have Caller ID and did not pick up. The evening calls - after 10 pm continued. The first few days this week my work phone began ringing at 11:55 and continued through the lunch hour - now he simply calls any time of the work day. The last three days I have averaged 5 office calls with messages, 2 cell phone, 2 home phone calls and 4-5 email messages.

I WANT THIS MAN OUT OF MY LIFE! Is he CRAZY?? Who has time for all this?

My daughter suggested I let him off easy by blaming myself for not being enterily able to meet his committment needs. (Yikes!) So that is exactly what I said to him..........in an email tonight. As I hear my phone ring in the background (as he must be on break at Orchestra practice) I think of the email waiting for him.

Press here!

Christmas Thoughts & Photos!

2006-01-09T11:43:00.000-05:00

Here is a cute one of my condo all decorated for Christmas!

A couple of neat presents!

I won my very first (in my life!) door prize at our office Christmas party - $100 gift card to Nordstorm! So I bought some insurance against any snow storms happening in 2006! Comfy snug 'toe warmers'.

Now here is the fun gift!! Ever since I moved from Maryland and sold my trusty piano I have been without any musical assistance with my Singers' repertoire. Lots to learn to understand: how I can include percussion, different orchestra instrument sounds, timing and I don't even know what else!! Yes, you see a 'WICKED' song book as I'm trying to learn some of these pieces. Going to the Kennedy Center production this week and can't wait to be immersed in the wonderful sound and performance!

What Christmas would be complete without a little sibbling rivilry!

This is the top of my Christmas tree before my Christmas Eve dinner - one lone little angel announcing the festivities!

Sometime during the laughter, eating and reminiscing, MommaK's kindergarden star with her picture attached, somehow crawled up the tree from it's designated station to take out the angel.

Her two sibblings are correctly positioned below her in what might be considered 'pecking order'.

As I was cleaning up after the party I noticed that the MIDDLE child could not allow this to happen and most likely took out her sister as she was walking out the door.....behind her. HA!

The youngest, being the baby, is quite secure in her position - I would assume!

Now, I must brag on myself because I just took on a project that scared me to death! I bought a 2 drawer UNASSEMBLED file cabinet. Now just how hard could it be - for someone who has virtually no mechanical sense. As the song goes "I know what I was feeling but what was I thinking?" I was feeling like "WOMAN" - liberated female who can attack any job, large or small, (as long as there isn't a lot of muscle required!). How hard could it be???

The box was frickin heavy - I had the store load it in my car and I used my trusty grocery cart to lug it up to my apartment where I deposited it on the living room floor.

I was not going to panic at the 10 page detailed instructions nor the 100+ pieces involved. Logic told me to first:

1) sort out all the pieces by type

2) confirm from the instructions that I had everything that was listed.

Then I began to go to work........one page at a time. And it started making sense and was actually way COOL. I always wondered how carpenters attached two pieces of wood without leaving a trace! I learned about how a CAM can be inserted and locked into place. I was just amazed with each step of the process. The instructions could not have been clearer - pictures are 1 million words! I would have finished it last night but it involved hammering certain pieces in place and the hour was 9:00 pm - must be considerate of my neighbors. I waited until 9:30 this morning and proceeded with the rest of my work - unfortunately receiving shouts from either upstairs or downstairs to stop the noise (go figure!). Inappropriate so I continued on - luckily no pounding at my door. So here is the product of my work:

Now, I do humbly recognize my limitations and will not mess with larger projects and certainly anything to do with electricity. I have been hunting for just the right chandalier or light fixture for my dining alcove (not actually a room). I found it this weekend on Smart Bargains and have asked my magnificently talented SIL to install for me!

I just LOVE Tiffany anything! What do you think?

Retail Value: $359.00
Our Price: $109.99
You Save 69% (Wha-hoo!)

New Year's Thoughts

2006-01-03T21:06:00.000-05:00

Should I dare look back first over the past year to see what 2005 resolutions were met?

At the beginning of 2005 I had already made the sound but difficult decision to end my marriage but was still sharing a house - if living on separate floors constitutes living together. I had just been handed the green light, the shocker of all 'ego out of control' decisions. For fear of being part of a disastrous screw-up on the sale of our house, my husband preferred to give up all interest in a simple concise note: "You can have your money and your house and I'll keep my money and the land at the beach". It was too good to be true - but yet it was true and matured into a signed and notarized Separation Agreement.

The next few months were a whirlwind of downsizing, packing, selling and giving away until I could squeeze 30 years of living in a large house into a small 2 bedroom condo. Yes, we did it girls!! Not without the help of my daughters!!

The settlements and move were stressful but uneventfully smooth. Summer followed with decorating and 'comfortizing' my new home.

I am extremely receptive to the fact that I don't have any major events, tasks or decisions to make in 2006 - at least that I know of as yet. Although it is possible that a new job opportunity may come my way - I'm in the 'courting' stage right now and enjoying the celebrity status. If something comes from it I'll consider using it as a leverage in my current job (maybe).

So I can think about some 2006 refinements............

1) Always on the top of my list is getting in shape. I've joined Curves and have promised myself to show up 3 times a week. It's easy and quick and convenient.

2) Focus on healthy: (1) get that damn mamogram (2) visit my doctor/dentist - due for a checkup

3) Give my aging mother more attention - call her more often - increase the visits and invites over. If she goes to the beach this summer - plan on being there every other weekend to do her shopping. She's failing noticably and I'm wondering if this might be her last year with us. She fears it herself and she's fighting to be able to make it to her granddaughter's wedding.

4) One of my 2005 resolutions was to find a good Church and I feel quite happy with the Church at which I sing each Sunday. I am not immersed - there is a comfortable distance which I like. I want to take from the service what I feel I can relate to without signing the dotted line of total doctrinal commitment. I'd like 2006 to be a year of inward reflection to learn meditation which will both de-stress me as well as keep me in focus of who I want to be.

5) I'm struggling with this one but I think it's important to bring up. I want to try and be a positive force in our family dynamics - I think we are all feeling a little tired of the negative exchanges that occurs on a regular basis. I know I can't change the personalities involved nor can I whitewash hurtful comments or omissions. But I need to practice .....simple 'charity'. In some cases, that might mean I resort to silence. Still an improvement. Our family isn't perfect - there are few out there that are! But we have been blessed with a goodly number of normal, loving members - I grateful for this gift!

6) Last year with my music I dared to dance and even MC a show. This year I would like to work on my keyboard skills. Maybe by this summer I can give the family a demonstration!!

7) I think this will be a year of learning about myself - I'm not going to actively seek out the man of my dreams. I'm trusting he'll find me!

8) As in every year for the past 32 years, I resolve to be a good mother to my wonderful daughters. Each year brings opportunities for me to give back to them the joy they have given me. May it continue for another 32 years!

Happy New Year!!

2006-01-01T17:12:00.000-05:00

The very best of 12 new months to my family and friends!!

Irish toast
In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want.

Movie: "When Harry Met Sally", Harry Burns
And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Sydney Smith
Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.

Anonymous
Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others.

Aisha Elderwyn
Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself.

F. M. Knowles, A Cheerful Year Book
He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.

G. K. Chesterton
The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.

T. S. Eliot
For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.

Benjamin Franklin
Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.

Edgar A. Guest
A happy New Year!
Grant that I May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That's not been said a thousand times?
The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.
We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.
We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.
We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
We wreathe our prides, we sheet our dead.
We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
And that's the burden of a year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the great times together, Dick. I cried for you last night!

Where does the time go!

2005-12-29T20:02:00.000-05:00

Maybe if I start again with the Thursday Thirteen, I'll start to get into the grove again!

1) I am recovering today from a two week marathon of preparation and delivery of a mega work proposal which I am happy to say was successfully delivered today.........followed by recoup drinks at the 'swank-i-fied 1941 Club' (or was it the 1491 Club?- who cares?) Another notch in my belt as a precurser to presenting my new position model of 'client executive' to upper management.

2) Ah Christmas holidays! Good memories, great gifts and wonderful food! I am enjoying my:

a) new 'do everything but wash the dishes' printer/scanner/copier!

b) My set of Karaoke CDs which will help me learn some numbers so I'm prepared the next time the 'sisters' take me out!

c) the wonderful adventure that lies ahead when I figure out all the inticacies of my new keyboard! Already ordered some music online and hope to state taking pre-programed lessens soon.

3) Saw lots of my daughters - all three - this holiday season which I consider a priceless gift!

4) Survived another hectic season of singing with 9 different engagements in December AND (I must have been crazy to volunteer for this!) I co-hosted our Singers Christmas show this year. Whew! Way too much memorization for this brain - but I figure I strengthened the old noddin and moved the big "A" further down the road. My family braved another production and claimed I did ok!

5) Been a long time since I sang in a choir but joined a local Church with a fabulous choir in September and we performed on Christmas Eve and again on Christmas morning. So glad my daughter and mother could hear us!

6) I'm being courted by a very prestegious brokerage firm for a coveted position including a salary of 'blinking proportion'! It's nice to not be in any hurray and be in charge of the process. Doubt that I will take it seriously but hope to use it as leverage where I currently work.

7) New Year's Eve will be a simple night of dinner and socializing with Mom, sister and some of my Mother's friends. I'll spend the night in her sauna apartment and allow her to pamper me! Maybe next year I can tell you I plan to dance all night with a special someone!

8) Gearing up for the New Year's list of resolultions. I look forward to the 'clean start' that January brings. Being a better blogger is one of them!

9) Had a houseful of daughter and friends last night and relished the laughter and stories. Delivered her to the airport this morning for the trip back to Nashville and on with life!

10) Tomorrow night I'm checking out a 'Jazz' place nearby with a friend and next week I am seeing 'WICKED' with two Singer friends. It will be hard to contain myself - I'll want to sing along! This musical has taken DC like a storm! Tickets sold out in 7 hours!

11) I'm glad to hear MommaK is considering an escape away next Christmas - well deserving! Kudos to a fabulous dinner, gifts and time together.

12) I'm already feeling like I may not have been generous enough to my little girls - feel the need to do more shopping. Maybe have them over...........Won a Nordstrom gift card and ordered some snazzy boots online - guaranteed to keep the toes warm!

13) Since I only enjoyed 3 hours of sleep last night..........I'm heading there with a calm sense of accomplishment tonight!

Time Off!

2005-11-09T21:06:00.000-05:00

I have almost two weeks of 'PTO' left this year and, with December being our busiest month of the year (where no vacation is possible), I have decided to take a few days - somewhat spontaneously! Tomorrow, Friday and Monday - who whoo!!

I will have 4 houseguests - two daughters, a future son-in-law (one of these days!) and my brother - squeezed into my two bedroom ONE BATH condo. Remember the days of only one bathroom in your home and each person had an assigned time - almost like clockwork? Maybe I might need to set up some such schedule. I could put one of these on the balcony. ...

So tomorrow is my cleaning catchup day - run to the grocery store and possibly check in at the hair salon for a haircut and manicure. Friday I pick up daughter #3 in the AM and we'll probably scout out some early morning shopping for just the right dress for her. Then we swing back and pick up big brother in mid-afternoon (I live 10 minutes from Dulles!) A fun filled weekend awaits us - to be reported in detail at a later date!

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Two of my Singer friends and I were chatting with another Singer who has volunteered to help us update our group's website. She mentioned that it will be difficult for her to find the time to devote to this job because she is taking a class which consumes most of her time. The course subject is how to effectively set up your own business. I asked her what type of business and she explained that her niche involves the care and maintenance of cats after an owner's death as well as the selling of 'cat' funeral packages. As my jaw dropped, she went on to explain that she will be advertising her services to cat owners who are very concerned about the welfare of their animals should they pass first. I took quick looks at my two friends - assuming at first that this was just a joke. I was a half of inch away from saying "yeah, right, now what is the real business you are researching?" but there was only serious faces on my friends - no sign of any suppressed "Baaa Haa Haa" which was begining to crawl up to my throat - ready to explode.

Her 'how to" literature for cat owners details what to place in the final Will and Testiment that will provide funding and transfer of ownership to her firm. She will set up a network of foster-care cat caretakers who will, for a fair price, adopt the darling kitties for a contracted period of time. The contract will absorb the costs of regular salon visits, special dietary needs and vet vists/meds.
Also, within the contract are detailed instructions for the funeral and/or simple burial of the beloved pet from the cost-conscious 'wrap 'em in newspaper and pocket the $' to the memorial of all memorials ..............

I will keep you updated on how her business takes off!

Happy Monday!

2005-11-07T20:28:00.000-05:00

What a week of stress, craziness, more stress and then loads of fun!

I'm talkin about work, singing, 'relationships' and then finally spending quality time with my granddaughters!

WORK
A week of mounting pressure with meetings, deadlines, settlements and renewals.
One significant highlight still has me scratching my head in amazement! The very biggest cheese in our national company( the COO) came calling to visit our office and MY account was chosen for a 'field visit' which required me to drive with him and other important people of similar rank for a 45 minute excursion to Maryland and back. It all went off fairly well and I now am a 'person of recognition'. We'll see where that takes me!

SINGING
The show is getting closer; music must be memorized; attend to ticket sales; collect dues etc etc.
We had a fundraiser last Wednesday night at the Silver Diner. We can earn 20% of all profits during the hours of 6:30 and 9:30pm - over and above what was made the previous year on that night. The key is to invite your families and friends and pack the restaurant during these hours. Five of us played 'hostess' and seated the guests. Not a bad gig - it actually was quite fun and we probably made $300 to $400. Beats washing cars!

RELATIONSHIPS
I pulled the plug (I hope) on two guys who just won't take the obvious hints that I'm not interested! Not being the type to 'hurt feelings', I just become evasive and 'remote'. Phones go unanswered and emails ignored. I have trouble saying ' hey look, the chemistry isn't there so take off!' Friday night I met a guy for dinner with whom I had been emailing for a couple of weeks. What do you do when you arrive at the restaurant and can see that your 'date' is far from the likeness of his picture both in age and GIRTH? As he teetered on the curb about 10 feet from me I tried to enter the restaurant - acting as if I hadn't seen him. 'Barbara, is that you?!' Oh Crap! Luckily he was an easy conversationalist which helped to pass the obligatory time. I am not opposed to 'girth' on a man if it is solid, will kept, and manly. Not so with this gentleman. As he talked and talked and talked and as I tried hard to keep my eyes from closing (after two Margaritas!) , I knew that soon I would have to deal with the awkward walk to my car and was wishing I was home behind locked doors. Oh but it wasn't over - I was stalked with phone calls that night and three times the next day - not to mention emails! Now I ask you, would it have been proper or fair of me to 'cut to the chase' either before we even walked into the restuarant; during the meal; or at the end of the meal? Help me out with Match.com etiquette!
I'm happy to say that he accepted the 'dear john letter' graciously and wished me luck!

LOADS OF FUN
I drove down to pick up my girls Saturday and enjoyed ...........
1) Shopping at 'THE Mall'. CP, the 10-year old is already a veteran shopper - taking after her mother. I am amazed at how grown-up she is! How she is very attentive to her hair and makeup (very minimal!) - her walk is more feminine; she has a totally different air about her when she's in the shopping mode. Discriminative buyer! Smells a sale! Insists on paying with her own money! GP, the 6 year-old, is scouting out all the stuffed animals as she knows she'll melt me into buying at least one for her!
2) Dinner at Red Robin - the ultra cool hamburger joint. Where one's eyes are much bigger than one's stomach!
3) Quick stop at Target to try to find Dad a BD present - no luck there but a cool CD was found.
4) Then to the movies to see 'Chicken Little'. The vote was 2 for Chicken Little and 1 for Dreamer. I lost. But Chicken Little lived up to it's fanfare! There was enough adult humor in it to keep me laughing as much as the girls! One of the better Disney films. The characters are all very lovable.
5) We switched bedrooms since CP wanted to play her CD game and GP needed the TV and the light on to sleep. I collapsed in the guest bedroom!
6) Sunday brought Church (my how well they behaved while I was in the choir!), then a quick lunch and off to see a live performance of "The Emperor's Clothes'. More suited for the younger kids but none-the-less well done. CP was even picked to be in a small part!
7) Found the ideal gift for Dad at Toys-R-Us. Hmmmmm
8) One last walk to the shopping center to visit our favorite Hallmark store and stop for ice cream at Cold Stone.
End of the weekend - I think they had a great time!

Too Good to Be True

2005-10-31T19:38:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the posts on Match.com are laughable. I have to share this one. Now, you can certainly understand that this picture stands out - practically shouts out - over all the rest. Supposedly this guy is 61 - one would have to believe he has a few years on the pic (if it's even him!)....but add 10-20 years and my guess is he still would look somewhat charming.

Now here is his John Wayne approach:

I am 5'9 with a slim to average build. I have brown hair going to silver. Still physically active. All equipment still functioning. I like the physical aspects of a relationship. Love to socialize, do not smoke, drink a social glass now and then, really enjoy a lot of good friends, take care of my mind, body, and equipment. I miss the special times with an attentive women.She should be an easy going person. Love to take care of her man alone. Should be perky, cute, warm loving person, fun, outgoing sexy and classy. Parties, movies, dinners picnics, week-end trips, or driving--etc. I like country music, pop and lite rock. she can change my address to hot mail. Wouldn't it be nice if I found someone who liked to do the same things, too. I would like to hold hands and cuddle up very close with someone special. You should be touchy feely person and adore affection and not prudish.

Don't you just want to ride off into the sunset with him?

Hey! That's happens AFTER the ride!
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Traffic was a killer today. It was my official FLEX Day off but, because of 'items on fire' I thought it best to show up at work. However, I took my time in the morning and suffered for it on the commute in. But that could not compare to the the nightmarish trip home. Was it because of the time change - people annoyed with the sudden darkness? Did all the Draculas and Ax Murderers come out of the woodwork on this Halloween night?
GISH! I don't mind a little backup but when it starts to take 30 minutes to creep from one stop light to the next, you can start to feel the adrenaline rising both in you and your neighbors! Lane dominance is the only thing on everyone's mind - those who cheat and try to worm in after storming up an right turn only lane; the horn honkers who try to intimidate you; the clear messages received from hands flung out the window.

I gripped the wheel and prayed: "please God, just get me home safe"!

I came to the mother of all intersections, where the light sequences result in a good 5 minute waits between green lights. I knew it would happen - no room to pass through the intersection - I knew better than to play gridlock, so I stopped......... Oh Man did I hear the horn honks from at least three cars behind me! Don't get out of your cars!!!

Finally made it to the Toll road but could see the next manuever would be tricky. 3 lanes of traffic had to merge into one as we funneled out to the Toll road. At this point in everyone's commute - the road rage was ripe! There was no courtesy - it was kill or be killed. I stayed the course - ignored the horns - gently pressed my way into finally I made it in. Wow I do not want to experience that again! It was down right spooky!!

Welcome - New Computer!

2005-10-29T23:40:00.000-04:00

I have been like a fish out of water for the last week suffering from computer withdrawal. The ole PC finally died on me. It contracted some nasty virus and began moving files around, teasing and annoying me to no end and then, in a last fit of nastiness, locked up!

MommaK and SIL came to the rescue! MommaK was ecstatic actually that the dinosaur had finally let out its last breath. So the two computer gurus put their heads together, designed a system to meet my unsophisticated needs, shopped the net separately and then compared prices, eventually arriving at a super speed Dell mother of computers!

I had the rather large package delivered at work and tipped our cute UPS guy to load it into my car. In the evening, as I left work, I borrowed the hand-truck and as I was struggling to lift it into the car the thought occurred to me that I might have some difficulty getting the box out of the car and up to my unit. Well, I'd just wait in the garage until a man came along. I did not want to leave it the car, way too much of an invitation!

Fate, or luck was on my side. A young woman pulled in a couple spaces near me and we began to start talking as she thought I was just moving in (seeing the large box and hand truck). Katie and I struck up a quick friendship and I told her what I had just purchased. She kindly offered to help me and stayed with me all the way to my unit as we steered the truck through the doorways and elevator! Remind me not to go into the Moving and Storage business.

Friday night my SIL drove up after the annual Halloween party at school (God, I feel bad he had to do that!) and set up my new operating system with all kinds of fancy new features. I learned about how to set up a Play list, rip a song off a CD (sounds a bit harsh!). I always feel stupidly inadequate when it comes to technology yet at work I am probably one of the most enabled.

But I admit I do not and cannot keep up with all the advancements. I have to depend on the youngins to teach me. I am thinking I might take some Get to know Windows courses on line. Maybe after Christmas, way to much going on right now!

Had dinner tonight with a special girlfriend. I do so enjoy our occasional get-togethers. She is single as well and has rip-roaring stories about the dating fiascos she experienced through the local newspaper personals. What amazed me is that she actually could get guys to take her out up to 4 times before they began to try any get to know you better routines. That was a few years ago, my experience was that the action was expected to happen AT the second date. I do not know, maybe I sent different signals.

So I am up and running again!!! (The computer, that is!)

Home Cookin!

2005-10-17T17:15:00.000-04:00

Sunday was a special 'family day' at Unga's house. MommaK and her girls came over along with AM and her special 'squeeze'. Under one condition!! The Redskin game needed to be turned on! I laugh thinking about how many Fall and Winter dinners are timed just right to coincide with either half time or the end of the mighty football game. And honestly, regardless of my lack of 'passion' for the sport, I have always felt that the two should work in harmony instead of in conflict. Another example of the 'antithesis' of my mother's behavior. She COMPETED with football! Dinner was 'ready' (which meant drop everything and be at the table in a ) somewhere between the 3rd and 4th quarter and my father would belabor leaving the TV as long as possible. This would lead to temper tantrums, crying and eventual silence - deadly silence! The happy dinner scene would be ruined as each of the children would try and coax our parents into some meaningless dialogue just to cut the tension. This annual recurring program was especially pathetic on Thanksgiving where football and eating are truly merged into one American ritual.

Here I am pulling a most scrumptious potato dish from the oven, gloved in my fortified Pampered Chef gear. Check out the new hairdo! What do you think with the Martha Stewart flip. More on the potatoes: they are a blend of baking potatoes and yams as well as baked garlic, rosemary and a little butter and milk. You could call them Halloween Potatoes by their rich orange color! The Yams (used Organic!) gave a sweet touch! One guest (remains nameless) who hates sweet potatoes complemented me on the yummy cheese potatoes. Hmmm

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This is a very hot dish (and I don't mean my daughter either!) It's MommaK's Chicken/Mushroom/Bacon and cheese dish which was beginning to burn my hands as I waited for this picture to be taken!
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Realty Check!

I was having one of those days at work where everything was going wrong. After driving 25 miles with a business associate to a meeting I found out that I had the time wrong and was 4 hours early. He had a plane to catch in 2 hours - luckily he was up here for more than just my meeting! While driving him to National Airport he mentioned that, considering the way my day was going, I should just drive home after dropping him off. So I'm thinking...it IS a full moon period - best concentrate on my driving.

Stopped at a local grocery store to pick up a quick salad for lunch and as I was walking back to my car in the parking lot, I guess I stepped on a stone which threw me off balance. There was nothing to reach out to grab (where is man when you need one!) so I found myself 'going down' - somewhat in slow motion - probably about 30 feet in front of an oncoming car. I'm thinking "If you have to go down at least try to do this as gracefully as possible!" I don't think that is what happened! While I crumbled onto my right elbow and hip the contents of my grocery bag and purse littered a ten foot area around me. I knew I had to get up - and quickly (the car did stop as the driver watched my performance) but my body was telling me it's really ok to just stay still. I felt searing pain in my arm and hip but not of the 'broken bone' variety - I think. I managed to get up on my feet, stagger around to pick up my litter (I'm sure I looked intoxicated!) and started to walk to my car. He then kindly drove by and asked if I was ok. God did I feel like an old lady! I got in the car and sat there for quite a while before driving back to work. I was amazed at how traumatized I felt from a simple fall! I remember as a kid just jumping right back up and ignoring the scrapes and bruises. Well, I have to admit I did milk the sympathy of my co-workers at my return to the office. They cleaned and medicated my elbow, hand and knee, fixed me some tea, and gave me Tylenol for my throbbing pain.

I don't think I want that to happen again any time soon!

Wow! I feel Special!!

2005-10-14T07:00:00.000-04:00

THIRTEEN FOR THURSDAY (on Friday)

1) The drama of the postal carrier going postal is subsiding. Except he should be receiving some undeliverable letters back to his mailbox. Suspect his mother may ask what they are all about!

2) Need to plan a yummy dinner for 2nd daughter and BF who are visiting Sunday - maybe even MommaK too.

3) Job Tuesday was measuring 7 new Singer members for dresses and vests. Can be awkward wrapping the tape measure around certain circumferences! You think people would try and give you a little assistance. I practically had to lay my head on their chests to reach behind them. Come to think of it, the men didn't seem to mind. Delicately dealing with sizing is also a hoot. "There's no way I'm a 14 - order me a 10"... .....trust me, miss Godzilla bust, the sizes run very small!

4) Our mother has announced that she will sell the beach condo this summer - after 29 years of memories. It is just too difficult for her to make the trip back and forth at her age. So we tentatively are thinking of a 'girls week' down there in July - a one more last time together. I think the sadness comes mostly from the wonderful times we had with B-Bob; the grandfather of them all! I suspect we'll look at albums, tell stories, and all do our share of crying.

5) I'm not totally feeling my best because of a slight 'internal' infection that has me taking antibiotics. During the night and again on the way to work this morning, I think I had a reaction from the drugs that seemed to turn my stomach inside out! More like heartburn from hell with severe back pain. Was even contemplating whether I was having a heart attack as I have read that this is a typical symptom in women. But the 'condition' has subsided - I have two more days on the meds. :(

6) I wish I could vicariously benefit from all of MommaK's exercise and dieting! I have found two of the cutest (yes, cocktail dresses) that I need to fit into. Is that a dirty word?? Where DOES it come from, Hoss?

7) I confronted an angry co-worker who totally lost his cool with me in front of clients. Told him that if he EVER tried that again, I would refuse to work with him . We had a cooling off period but now we are best friends again and I've noticed a heightened respect. Wow! It's such hard work for me to do that!

8) Looking forward to celebrating JOYFUL holidays with my girls this year. Last year was rough during the 'transition'. No decorating - MommaK saved the day!

9) Committed to staying with daughter #2 next month and play 'teachers' aide' for the day. She's been teaching for 5 years now and I still haven't seen her in action! Can't wait!

10) I have a friend who is suffering from depression, lives by herself, and rarely does anything but work-home trips. Keep trying to get her to come over for the night, go out to dinner or movies and she always claims she is too tired. Wish I knew how to help her.

11) Love Life Update (for Hoss and FTS) Nix, Nil ,Natta! Like I said I'm going to try to focus more on the Single groups. There were some guys at the auction Saturday as the volunteer group always pairs an even number of guys to gals for every event. But no exciting chemistry - just a good time together. Romeo KEEPS calling me and I hadn't answered for a long time in hopes he would just go away but then answered the phone by mistake the other day and had to fain all kinds of excuses. I need to write him the 'kiss of death' email - or maybe forward the rainbow greeting card to him. There is one other guy who is corresponding from Southern MD - nice but a little close to ex-territory.

12) I received a lesson in how to compute Capital Gains Tax from big brother (the ladybug dad) when I began to spazz over the possibility of having to pay a huge tax on the sale of my house. I had my information a bit mixed up. Whew!

13) Isn't my new look just fantastic? I love it! Thanks to MommaK who bought me my makeover. It feels great!

The New Me

2005-10-13T12:21:00.000-04:00

Soooooooo.....what do you think?

Cool Opportunity!

2005-10-09T16:02:00.000-04:00

One of my decisions of late was to switch off from the one-on-one dating scene that Match.com offers and look into Single Groups. I recently joined two in our area:
1) SVDC (Single Volunteers of DC)
2) Sterling Singles
Each of the groups provides opportunities for both social volunteer activities in the DC/No.VA area. I have been scouting the upcoming events of each group and trying to coordinate available time with work, singing and family and have not until last night been able to make a commitment.

In a nearby town, a Church was putting on an Art Auction as a fundraiser. Since it was close by and interested me, I volunteered. What I didn't expect to happen and probably should have anticipated ( since our own Singers fundraiser of last month went down the tubes) was that only 7 people actually registered for 'paddles' to bid. Now, with about 150 pieces of art and 17 participants (10 being our volunteer group) the odds were in OUR favor that we could latch onto so good art at the initial bidding price or less!

I am not at liberty to mention just how WELL I did since Santa will be soon on his way, but let's say I got one painting at the initial bid price and another at $50 below bid price! I CAN tell you that I wanted a gold framed mirror for over my couch in the living room but let one pass by because the auctioneer refused to lower the price under the initial bid. At the end of the evening, after the auction was completed I walked up to him and asked him the price again of the mirror. He came back with 10% off. HA! Somehow I managed to carry the mirror up to my condo but will need to ask manly assistance from SIL to hang it! I shall provide pictures at a later date!

We were treated like royalty from the fundraising group and it was a very enjoyable night. My job was registering all 7 of the participants (not too strenuous) and then help load the remaining artwork onto a truck. All in all I helped the fundraiser in both $ and volunteer time and came away with some good deals and possibly new friendships!

Recurring Nightmare!

2005-10-08T14:41:00.000-04:00

The separation agreement was finalized in February after months of 'discussion'. The house went on the market in March and sold within two weeks at a good price. I found a condo just my size in Virginia and settled in late April. It is now almost six months since my life turned upside down and during this time I have had no written or physical contact with my exhusband. I expected that he had also begun the rhythm of a new life and certainly wish him well!

Driving home from a business trip Wednesday I received a call from MommaK who described receiving certified and registered letter which she had just signed for - from the 'ex'. It contained copies of two different letters addressed to me along with copies of various financial documents which were constructed during our efforts to separate our assets. The letter also contained a copy of a MLS which indicated the selling price of the house. Our assumption is that he finally decided to check on the sale price - six month after the sale. His letters were poorly written and ached with bitterness. His intention, which he documented in each letter, was to send copies of what I would consider our private financial dealings to my mother, three siblings and three daughters in hopes that I would be shamed into paying him more money.

My mother had also signed for the letter and was angered as well at his tactics. That evening I sent email requests to my siblings and other two daughters asking them to respect my privacy and not accept the letter. I am embarrassed more for him that anyone else should see this lunacy.

I know that a Legal Separation agreement is a contract that can only be amended or dissolved by the mutual agreement of both parties or proof of misrepresentation or omission of assets. I doubt that his copying my entire family on personal information would have been advice from an attorney. For those who don't know, he agreed in the Separation Agreement to release the house to me and he kept the beach property (land).

Would he really try to sue for misrepresentation when I was as clueless as any other homeowner would be as to what result the housing market would bring me? I was equally concerned that a required home inspection would uncover areas of damage or decay that would have to be corrected before the new owner would accept the contract. The house was almost 50 years old - I expected there would be some issues. So any net gain was a crapshoot! I wouldn't have expected in a million years that the new owner was so anxious to move in that she waived the home inspection and added additional value to the contract. What can I say - God is good! Do I feel like I owed him any share of the value + from the sale? No. The value on the beach property also has risen by almost 6 times the value of our original loan - I'm happy for him!

I am not responding to the letter - he will see at least three letters, including mine, returned to him as undeliverable. That should be a clear message. It's hard to say what my siblings will do - I hope they don't sign for it but it's possible they didn't receive my email request in time. I truly hope they don't do anything that could possibly cause a 'permanent' division is our family.

Let's hope I'll hear no more on this!

OK I'm plunging back in again!

2005-09-30T20:46:00.000-04:00

Although I am probably not on the correct 'day' to do this, let me try:

THIRTEEN THINGS

1. Will life ever slow down enough to allow me to accomplish both the mundane and necessary as well as the pined-for luxuries such as (1) a hot long bath (2) REGULAR EXERCISE (3) playing Barbies with the girls (4) an afternoon of reading (5) consistent and meaningful blogging?

2. My love life is on temporary - maybe Permanent total - hold. The normal ones are either shy or otherwise busy. I seem to attract the weird ones. They either just stop calling or send me lovely cards like this one:

Message at bottom of card:

Barbara,
Good luck on your search. Wishing you love, luck and joy ahead.
Glad to have met you.
Take care,

Now, you might think this is sweet but I'm confused as to what made him feel the friendship was over. I called him and left a message that I couldn't meet him for dinner the next day because of an emergency Board meeting (the truth) - suggested that we meet the following day. Maybe he read the boredom in my voice. Nice guy but too many characterics of others I've had the pleasure of living with. I liked his intelligence (a unique trait) - he's very into the Arts and I found that fascinating. But he's cheap, poor, likes the simple life, quotes scripture (perhaps over the edge here). See the similarity? When I'm dating these guys I ask the question: "Would I feel comfortable introducing him to my girls". Nah! Not one has passed that test yet.

3) Work is still hectic with limited staffing but there is hope on the horizon. We should soon be able to go back to Flex Days - giving me every other Monday off! I have had one client's representative, of foreign descent, who was not familiar with American business culture and would call me in the evenings and weekends - including vacations (!) with his inane questions. Glad to say he quit his job and went back to Mama in the 'Land of the Sands' as he called it. I only hope I played a small part in the decision. Good riddance to a rude rugrat!

4) Had a wonderful time in Nashville/Murfreesburo last weekend with my baby! We celebrated her birthday - shopped for a few household 'things' - met Rugdesigner and her hubby for lunch (WHAT FUN!) - I have a gift waiting for you, MommaK! Met two of Bobbe's new friends and felt right at home with them - saw a cute chick/flick Just Like Heaven - and had dinner with Tom and Diane, friends from work.

5) Yes, I had a fanastic time on my vacation last month in Vermont, Boston and Maine with my brother, and his soulmate. We were sequestered away from all news in the Vermont mountains - even our cell phones failed us! We were treated to lazy days of hiking, reading, napping (if you know my brother!) and gourmet meals! (TRULY gourmet) Staying at a B&B allows you to easily mingle with the guests which proved most entertaining. Spent a day driving across New Hampshire and Maine to the coast all the while enjoying the remnants of Katrina. I can see why my brother wants to eventually retire to the Maine coast. The many inlets and islands make for breathtaking views. We walked until I thought my feet were going to fall off! (Yeah - well I didn't bring the right shoes!) Enjoyed three fun events with my brother: (1) playing billiards in his rec room - I didn't do too badly! (2) Beat HIM at lawn croquet - plenty of practice from our backyard family games (3) Going for my very first Kayaking trip on the river near his home. Just a two hour trip - any longer and my leg muscles would have atrophied! It was bad enough that my brother had to lift me out of the kayak - I do not have the strength in my upper arms to lift up and back out of the seat. I suppose I could have rolled over but that would not have been cool!

6) Along with visiting my brother I also spent the weekend with my dear SIL in Boston. What a perfect weather weekend! We walked, and walked, and walked and walked. Man she is used to it - if I had know exactly how far we were going to be walking I doubt that I would have made it. We were headed to a Ceramics shop to make 'something' - time to laugh and be creative! With each corner turned, I hoped we were there.......... ah finally! What a sweetheart - she had already planned to take the train back home! We each made remarkably 'artsy' soap dishes and had to leave them there to be glazed. I will receive mine on her next visit to DC. We treated ourselves to dinner and a show featuring Idena Menzel (from Wicked). What a voice and very entertaining. Idena described her early years of being a Wedding Singer for Jewish celebrations - hysterically funny and believable. She ended the show with "Gravity" from Wicked.

7) So..... I bought the book and the CD and MommaK is scouting the best ticket/times to see WICKED. We'll plan it around Christmas so that all the girls can go together. But I would recommnd that you read the book and learn the music first!

8) Finally Fall has arrived and I can turn off the A/C and open my windows! My favorite season!

9) Joined the choir at our neighborhood Church and am impressed with the size, talent, friendliness and professionalism of the group. Maybe another opportunity to meet new friends in the area.

10) I am the official 'membership VP' of our Singer s Group which requires that I facilitate the audition process. It also allows me to sit in and watch the agony and hysterics! It thoroughly amazed me that people with absolutely no musical ability would belt out a song with utmost confidence and never hit one of the notes in the accompaniment. We would start the audition by bring the group of auditionees together and teach them very (I mean VERY) simple dance moves. After 5 to 6 times of practicing a 1 minute routine we would ask them to dance it alone. Holy Moly! The men especially were a stitch! Out of 13 who auditioned, 9 were accepted. Pretty good odds.

11) I have set up an appointment at the 'MAX' cosmetic counter at Nordstrom for both my second daughter, AM and me tomorrow. We will learn what Fall colors look best on our skin and hopefully find new and most likely expensive ways to look young and alluring! If we don't spend all our money there, we will do some clothes shopping and head out to hopefully meet up with MommaK for dinner. AM is spending the night so I look forward to some mutual pampering time!

12) Heading to Rehobeth Beach Delaware Sunday for 3 days at on Oceanfront hotel - business expense!!! Taking continuing ed to keep up my insurance license and designations. Not bad! Will check out the outlets and do considerable walking! Meeting up with old family friends for dinner one night.

13) Wow 13 is a lot of things to think of !! I'm thinking that I need to head to bed so that I can rush like crazy tomorrow morning and clean this place before AM arrives. It takes a visitor to motivate me to clean!

Vacation Photos

2005-09-17T15:05:00.000-04:00

Horror Profile

2005-08-15T20:03:00.000-04:00

Although I am using a slight variation of the real pic on 'match.com', this is his script after sending me a *wink*:

About me and who I'd like to date:

"lonele and need a friend need a good companion looking for a woman to be a good friend and maybe lover if that developes no one cares for me now and i am so lonely for someone to care about me i worship women."

YIKES! Creepy! No winkin back at this one!

*********************************************************************

Hurray! MommaK and girls are back home1 I met them at the airport to help with bags. Boy, Dulles is soooo easy to get in and out of!! The girls miss their pets and are anxious to see them again. MommaK is very smart and waiting until tomorrow to round up the four-legged troops - gives her a good night's catch up on sleep! Just knowing my girls are safe and nearby is comforting!

********************************************************************

Music has a way of penetrating deep into my soul and can open doors of emotion, create euphoria, goosebumps, tears and laughter. Music can brighten any mood and provide the hope - sometimes just that temporary bridge from reality to fantasy - the very best medicine without a prescription! Classical music is a wonderful background to wake up to, to hum along with as I clean - I often amaze myself at how well I remember the score. Country music is my 'recess' from life. Easy and fun to sing with themes that relate to anyone's life. There's a new one out about a guy who has to make the big decision between his fishing and his girlfriend. I have to laugh - how pathetic but a great crowd song. I'm sure there will soon be a followup female version. Great Karaoki material - have to stay up on this in order to sing with my daughters!

So we stopped at Borders after dinner tonight and I felt the urge to find some 'feel good' music. Here is what I bought and why:

1) Il Divo - On my God what voices and looks - four singing Greek Gods! I first heard them sing at the National Monument tribute on July 4th and I was left speechless. David, Sebastian, Urs, and Carlos, I love you!

2) Josh Groban - another gorgeous male voice so I have been told. He was recommended to me by a friend when I mentioned I fell in love with Michael Buble after MommaK gave me his CD "It's Time". So I have some exploring to do here and will let you know if I think Josh is on a par with Michael. Michael is a baby Frank Sinatra with soul!

3) WICKED - Well, maybe there are times when I need to explore this side of me! :) The musical is coming to DC this winter and MommaK and family want to see it with me. I'm very surprised at this because, even to this day MommaK can't get past the evil witch and the monkey scene in the wizard of Oz. So we may have to bring a paper bag and ear plugs for her. Her darling younger daughter, on the otherhand, will be entranced! I like to learn all the music and the score before I see a musical so that I perfectly understand every detail. There usually is so much happening on the stage that, if you are concentrating on the understanding the lyrics you miss the staging and interaction of the actors and often the story line.

So there you have it - my pick for the summer!

Update on Life

2005-08-13T21:04:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the big official debut of my new home. I'm not counting family and a couple of friends who have come by. No, tomorrow is the unveiling! I am hosting our annual planning meeting for the Alexandria Singers (usually about 5 hours in length) which obligates me to provide food and drink to get us through the long agenda. I expect 12 people to squeeze into my not so big living room. All day I have been preparing the menu! Considering the atrocious heat, I thought cool food would be more appetizing. So I have prepared two salads for pita stuffing and will compliment these with a big fresh fruit salad. One salad is crab with a touch of curry and the other is an almond chicken salad with dried cranberries and fresh cilantro tossed with yogurt and honey. Hmmmmm - this is my favorite!

To top off the lunch I have made hazelnut brownies which I still have to put on the icing in the morning.

BUT!!! I took out time to do a mad makeover and drive up to Friday's to meet Mr. 43 Yr old since he continued to insist on meeting, even after the Drainmaster excuse of Wednesday. He was so nice in his emails I felt I at least owed him the meeting - let's just get it over with. Reminds me a little bit of .....(what's his name from Meet the Parents?). He's Italian, so dark complexion and hair. He put me at ease right away as we went into Friday's and sat up at the bar. First of all, he's a gentleman - no hesitation there. As we were walking to our seats, he turned around and said "By the way, you really look very nice" and he broke out in a big warm smile. At least this time the makeover was worth the effort!!

The conversation flowed easily from his familty to mine, his work to mine, his hobby's and mine. He is very active which certainly interests me! For fun he windsurf, sails, skis, grows a vegetable garden, goes to Redskins/Nationals games and spends a lot of time with his family's children. Accordingly to his profile, he's never been married but in committed relationships. That conversation as well as my bumpy past can be saved for a later date. It was the perfect way to set up a first meeting in that he had to be at his brothers at 8 pm so we only could have one drink - about an hour's worth of time together. But he (Mike) enjoyed the time and was anxious to see me again and suggested a movie. So Wednesday we're seeing Wedding Crashers - thought something light and funny would be good. AND he refused to let me pay for my drink!

Mr. 43 Year Old helped me get past my frogitis from last weekend. Nice to know that I don't have to resort to the 'retired and ready for the grave' types!

It's Sunday morning and here is an email I received from Mr. 43YO:

Date received: August 13, 2005
Subject: hello
Hi !! I very much enjoyed meeting you, you'r very comfortable and easy to talk to and you have nice lips also if you don`t mind me saying :). I look forward to seeing you wed.Mike

Ok, so I 'allowed' a quick kiss at our parting - afterall he IS Italian!

A Sign

2005-08-09T22:46:00.000-04:00

The kitchen sink clogged up due to a malfunction in the disposal (I suppose) and the only time Mr. Drainmaster could come out was tomorrow evening. So alas! I must cancel my second Frog date. I'm having trepidation anxiety after Saturday's experience anyway. I take this as a sign from my female spirits! Not giving up but think I'll keep the communication in the format of emails only for a while. I actually have three interesting men on the line - one is anxious to talk by phone - I don't know - that really seems wierd!

Anyway, attached are three pictures of me performing in our annual Alexandria Singers show:

Here we are all dressed in formals singing a medley from Phantom of the Opera. Because several of us chose maroon or red dresses, I had to wear a gold shawl to give some color contrast. Can you find me?

OK, I know it looks like I have a diaper on but it's supposed to resemble a Spanish skirt. We are singing "Do you hear the drums, Fernando" from Abba. My friends, Marla and Val, are really into the song.

Here we all are in our blue vests singing a balad. Can you find me? Remember I'm the Back Row of the Front Row Dancers.

Frog #1!

2005-08-06T19:56:00.000-04:00

I have taken the giant step into 'online dating'. Not that I am emotionally or financially dependent on having a male partner - but I am an admitted heterosexual who enjoys male company. But ...at this stage of my life, it will be on MY terms....Finally.

I'm going into this recognizing that I've already struck out twice - what does that tell me?
#1) First male who gave me the least bit of attention - grab him - escape from the stiflingly control of my mother.
AND
#2) Nice guy, a little quirky, but a seemingly good family man. Marry him for the father you need for your daughters.

In retrospect, not really good reasons to commit yourself to LIFE with a person. But being the good Catholic girl, I was always taught to put myself, my own needs and desires, behind those of others. Over the years, that has a way of ambushing you from all sides !

Anyway, on to this dating thing. My son-in-law casually commented the other day "Hey, Mom, have you been dating yet?" and he seemed surprised when I answered "no, not hardly". Honestly, there's that whole 'get to know the other person' crap that overwhelms me. I want it easy - not a tideous task!

I stated out by completing the 'eHarmony.com' profile. After about 20 pages of questions I finally finished what I thought would be a simple questionnaire (somewhere around 1 am in the morning!) and was provided with a compact summary of "me" with which I honestly was downright impressed. So I pushed the final button to sign up and DRAT - I failed. They don't take quasi-separated people, only fully certified divorced, widowed or never-committed singles. Darn. I can imagine that a mutual match on eHarmony probably does 99% of the search for you! Maybe next year.

So I turned to "Match.com". Their profile is much less sophisticated - they accept pretty well any marital status as long as the person is honest. What the heck! I signed up for 1 month and filled out the profile. Once you join, you are able to search for possible matches either by so-called 'mutual criteria' or by geographical area. I tried both and read profiles until the wee hours of the morning (now you know why I have neglected my blog friends - a noble cause). If you come across someone that stikes your interest you have two options: (1) you can select one option which is a *wink* whick simply tells the person that you are interested. This tives the 'winkee' the opportuity to check my profile and yada yada. Or (2) Email them. If you don't get winked back or emailed you can feel fairly certain you failed the "profile test". The webpage told me that my chances improve by 50% if I post pictures. I didn't have any recent pictures - just of myself or without holding a glass of wine (!) so MommaK was gracious enough to come over a snap these:
Well, it seems these created the magic ingredient because I have received several winks and emails from interested guys over the past week. Let me tell you about Frog #1 since he has now been 'experienced' and discarded:

Even before he saw my picture, #1 Frog was anxious to meet. I could tell from his profile that this was an intelligent guy (PHD etc) which could offer some interesting diversion to my past associations. In the second email he gave me his phone number and name which surprised me as I assumed the rules called for discretion. He was anxious to meet and suggested lunch out today at a restaurant halfway between our homes. I mentioned that I already had to take my car in for a 3 hour scheduled maintenance at 8 am today so couldn't make it. He took the bait and suggested picking me up at the dealership and going out for breakfast. Hey! What do I have to lose? Three hours sitting in a dealership vs a good breakfast with possibly good company. I accepted.

The morning came and I'm up at 5:30 jumping into my extra notch beauty regimen. Lots of nice lotion to smell sexy, put on the push up bra for that tantalizing illusion, iron the clothes, curl the hair, make up just so. Ok I look as good as I'm going to get and I head out to the dealership. Now, mind you, I look drastically more appealing that the rest of my fellow car owners who may have simply crawled out of bed. Frog#1 appears a few minutes after the designated hour of 9:00 am. I wonder if he noticed (or if I camouflaged my inner disgust) my initial reaction? Uncombed hair, unkempt look, work or yard clothes (who knows?) with little lint balls all over the shirt, and yes, the dreaded body odor. Did he just crawl out of bed too? Crap! All this effort and this is what I get? How can I get out of this? Huh? Oh yeah. The diner is down the road. Oh God! What was I thinking? His car is littered with paper and carried a musty odor that further turned my stomach as he slowly dropped his aging body into the driver's seat. (But the profile says you jog every day?? You can barely walk more less jog!). We start out of the parking lot and I realize my life is in the hands of a lunatic driver. He pulls out into highway traffic with horns blowing, turns left on a red light (is that legal somewhere?) and crawls up the road at a disturbingly slow pace. OK the guy can't drive - maybe he can't see either - probably explains why he thought my picture was beautiful!

We're in the Silver Diner and I'm focused on eating - hoping he'll just shut up. No, he's ready with his dating interrogatory which I answer as honestly but vaguely as possible. I make it clear that the breakfast is dutch and there is no objection. (hmmm) Then he pulls out a piece of paper and asks for my 'specifics'. (My measurements???) He wants my name, address, phone etc. No way, lets keep this just a friendly breakfast - we can exchange this in future emails (not likely) but I prefer not to give out this information at the first meeting. That did not sit well and he explained that if I wanted to make this dating thing work I needed to be more trustful. Yeah, well maybe after the 3rd or 4th date - ok? So he sees the possibility of a relationship (yuk) between us is a bit slim to none and as we finish paying the bill he states: "Well, since it doesn't look like this is going to work out between us, you don't mind if I just leave you here, do you?" I realized he was joking but I didn't bat a eyelash when I said - "if you must. I can always catch a cab". He did take me back to the dearlership - never a happier moment than stepping out of that car ......after he insisted on kissing my hand. AGGGHHHA!!! Here are his parting words to me in an email later:

Such a pleasure to meet you, and share conversation. You seem so easy to hang out with, get along with. You seem to have done well with the main things. All the best to you as you search. I think most guys would like to know any degree of enthusiasm a woman feels for him. For a woman with your communication skills, which are outstanding, many men would be easy to manage and mold, for a woman inclined to be a sculptress. Seems to me you no longer need nurturing from your daughters, who are well off and on their own. I enjoyed your company.

What does he mean by the "main things"???

"I think most guys would like to know any degree of enthusiasm a woman feels for him." - translated means: You didn't seem very impressed with me. If you want to impress a guy you need to fall over him a bit more than you did with me this morning.

I shall keep you informed of any other rendevous in the near future. Possible dinner with a 43 yr old next Wednesday. He's (1) lying about his age (2) has poor eyesight (3) can't count or (4) is looking for a mother. We shall see! Also have a neat musican who plays Bluegrass interested. He comes across very genuine. This is exhausting!

Good night!

History of Hair - My Hair

2005-08-03T20:00:00.000-04:00

When I watch the evolution of my 'hair' from youth until the present day, I see life's irony. It's like wisdon and old age - it would have served us much better in our youth!

I was born with coarse, thick hair and learned at an early age that it was my lifelong enemy. Apparently before I can remember, I charmed the world with my long Shirley Temple locks, but somewhere around the age of 7, my hair chose to control me! Because of it's thickness and unruliness, my mother decided to keep is short. I was affectionately known as 'porcupine'.

In middle school I took over the care of my hair and curled it religiously each night with hard prickly rollers and bobby pins. It would smooth out the frizz but leave my head a zig zag terrain of hills and valleys. Swimming was a disasterous experience for me as I could never let my hair dry at the pool or beach - always keep it wet until you get home. Humidity was my defeat. In five minutes you could witness the PING of frizz.

High School was no better except that I had a portable hair dryer - you know the ones with the hood and coil connecting you to the heater? I could now fix my hair and dry it in a two hour process in case I had plans in the evening.

How I longed for the straight or bobbed look of the 60s!

My first real break was the convent! Three years of living under a veil - what luxury - I was on a par with everyone else now - hair was not an issue. (Unfortunately there were many OTHER issues that didn't allow this non-reality show to continue)

I was determined to walk down the aisle on my wedding day with shoulder length hair. How did I do it? I wore a damn wig for an entire 6 month period before the wedding, received unbelievable teasing and put-downs from my family. But I had the hairstyle of my dreams on my wedding day - even in the heat and humidity of August. I think I had a whole bottle of hair spray on. Three days after the wedding I had it all cut off and I threw out the wig!

Soon came the miracle of the blowdryer in the 70s, followed by 'relaxers' which acted like reverse perms. And the Hot Rollers - burned my hands on those many a time! I started to have better control - could begin looking into a mirror without cringing. (This one really DOES look like me!!)

Now, in the eve of my life, where 'lookin good' is not as terribly necessary as 30 years ago, I have an abundance of products (smoothers, straightening gels, improved relaxers) and gaggets (the all powerful straightening iron). My hairstylist 'counsels' me on the best products to use to achieve the look I want. He's helping me learn how to control the thickness by how he cuts and trains the hair. I now have a longer, straighter look than I have ever had in my life! I feel good about it, and it makes me look younger - Ha!

Of course, my mother is quick to tell anyone that I have simply ruined my hair and it's all just going to fall out one of these days! Hey! I'll be bald with a smile!

So MommaK thinks I should post a picture of the NEW me with straight hair - here goes. Notice the soft flow of hair as it brushes my face!

Special Pre-Birthday!

2005-07-20T20:29:00.000-04:00

Because I can't be with her for her Birthday Party (and she seemed visibly hurt by the news) we planned a day at my pool with MommaK and a neighborhood friend. I knew exactly what she wanted as a gift ....

The LAVENDER ones, of course. I also found her a saber tooth tiger - which requires assembly - a Daddy adventure for next weekend. Although I think her big sister will figure it out as soon as she arrives back home from camp.

The last gift (I always hold my breath that I am not giving a duplicate toy!).........

Cranium Hullabaloo Game

This game is sort of like Twister meets Simon Says. Lay the Hullabaloo pads around on the floor about two 'kid's feet' away from each other. The pads are different shapes and colors and have pictures and words on them. Turn on the game console and the cheerful music begins, a happy voice welcomes you to the game and then gives the simple directions you'll need to play. "Jump on a square shape," "Slide over to a red shape," "Hop to a shape with an animal on it" and so on. Then it might tell you to freeze, or to put a body part on one pad, and then a different body part on another. Then, it'll tell you that if you are on a particular pad at the end of that round, you are the winner. We found it to be fun, and easy to understand--though we did wonder how long it might hold a child's interest.

Time will tell! Hope it not too young for her - thought it could be a fun game for her to play by herself OR with a friend. Maybe her Aunts will play with her ...after a few sips of wine!

We went out to dinner at Lone Star - the meat was overcooked. MommaK spoke my mind when she said "Now I know why we haven't been to Lone Star in so long". Only two salad choices on the menu and beef, BEEF, and MORE BEEF all sprawled all over the menu. Hey! Hoss, is that all they eat in the Wild West? But you know what I enjoyed? Watching my cute soon-to-be six year old conversing with her friend and, yes, EAVESDROPPING! Hoss, would you be kind enough to define this word and explain it's origin?

Getting that long awaited (but painfully ticklish) pedicure tomorrow because I'll be heading to the beach Friday through Tueday to be with the Nana, baby brother and twin sister.

Will have plenty of Blog material after this weekend - you know how families are!

Crazy Weekend!

2005-07-17T20:32:00.000-04:00

In the soupy humidity of a DC summer I look back and am amazed at this past weekend -surprised at my energy level and warmed by the experiences!

Friday night I was preparing to leave the office sharply at 5 pm to allow enough time to drive to the airport (never knowing the condition of traffic on the area's arteries) to pick up my SIL - who honestly is simply my Sister (!) - for a couple of days together. Unfortunately we have been hit with a surge of tropical weather which has brought severe storms each afternoon to the region. I received the call that I better just go home and wait until she was sure the flight was ready to take off from Boston. So I headed home and put the last touches to my master chef Asian Chicken salad, made a few more 'tidy' checks of the condo and waited for the call. Tonight would be the unveiling of my new home to SIL and I was excited to see her reaction to my new 'digs'. At 9 pm another call (one of at least 6) came in saying that the flight would probably arrive around 10:30 - "go ahead and eat - don't wait for me". ARG! I had to eat my specialty concoction alone - but was famished enough that I did! We finally met up at 10 pm at Dulles - the beauty and efficiency of cell phones (how DID we do without them?)

What followed was our typical night of sipping wine and exchanging family stories. SHE LOVED MY PLACE - was so enthused by the unique design of the rooms, the crown molding, the private balcony (she insisted on sitting out there at midnight!) and loved my new furniture - especially how the rug seemed to draw in all the colors together. YIPPEE! She even instead on munching on the famous 'salad' not once but twice during the visit. We talk through the family list and update each other on our children, the 'mother', our 'ex's', and siblings. We ponder on how we will handle our daughters leaving us in such a short time. How can I complain? Tennessee vs the other end of the earth- Okinawa!

We had a lazy morning - our high intentions of going to jazzersize morphed into a walk around the neighborhood. Then we drove to the Metro and rode into DC to meet a mutual friend who is a docent at the Hillwood museum.

This is the former home of Marjorie Meriwether Post, one of Washington's society's most wealthy women of recent times. If you want a first hand look at how the unbelievably filthy rich lived, you should take the time to make this tour. Our docent friend was a bit 'caught up' in the history of the place - I think she eats, sleeps and breathes the place, but was thoroughly familiar with all the various art collections and the family gossip. We felt like we were transported to a European castle of the 1700s - with the ornate furniture, grandiose portraits and sculptured gardens. 27 acres of mansion and gardens! Unfortunately the weather was not being cooperative so we had to rush the outside - it was too beautiful to describe!

Because I had other previously-made plans, I had to leave their company and race back to the Metro in order to make a surprise 60th Birthday party for a Singer friend! I wish I could have spent more time with them over a slow, lazy dinner. Maybe next time! The party turned out to be a blast - complete with a hoola hoop contest! I'm afraid I didn't fare too well at that!

Today was saved to visit another Singer friend who is recovering from knee surgery. This woman, probably close to my age, is a remarkably strong single woman who has surrounded herself over the years with other very independent women. I'd like to worm into this group - maybe if I keep bringing her Asian Chicken salad (she didn't need to know it was leftovers!)

Exhausted but Enjoying Life!

2005-07-15T21:43:00.000-04:00

Alexandria Singers !!

Whew! Sorry I've been off line this past week but being part of a show completely takes over your life and zaps what little energy is left! We put on two performances of our Alexandria Singers summer show last weekend. Besides the two rehearsals weekly since January, we had what is affectionately known as "hell week" the week prior to the show - 4 hours of rehearsal each night (1) act one (2) act two (3) Tech night (lighting and sound) (4) and dress rehearsal.

As one of the dancers I was on the floor most of the time - limping home each night with aching feet. It dawned on me to buy some of those gel inserts by Friday and that made a big difference!

We always sing one medley of songs from a musical and this year it was The Phantom. The men wore tuxes and the ladies wore long dresses. We did some staging during the song but no serious dancing. It went over very well with the audience.

The group has it's share of 'divas' and 'wannabe divas' to contend with. It was a long and contentious year for some reason and many were about through with the group but amazingly we managed to come together during hell week, work extremely hard, and put on a great show.

What a fantastic experience to perform and feed on the excitement from the audience. Great Fun!

MommaK and CowboyUp (or is it CowgirlUp?) were there with MommaK's entire family. My fan club!

Well off to pick up my very good friend and sister-in-law for a short visit. Her flight from Boston was delayed 3 hours because of our stormy weather in DC. We will talk and laugh all night about our great daughters, and head out to visit another friend tomorrow. Sunday I play nurse to a fellow singer who just had knee replacement (waited until after the show!)

TO THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 40s, 50s & 60s

2005-07-03T22:30:00.000-04:00

How our 'raising of families' has changed !! My youth was spent in the 50s and 60s and I have made some comments to the article below:

Gene G. Gage, President Papa Geno's Herb Farm & Prairie Home Perennials
-----------------------------------------------------------

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
(I'm fairly certain my mother smoked and probably socially drank - there were no warnings - no one realized the danger. There were many an evening at the dinner table when my parents enjoyed a smoke with their tea following dinner.)

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes.
(Being in the military, our family was used to regular physicals so this was probably not the case for my parents. Yes , they ate lots of meat, grilled and fried, but always three good balanced meals per day - no such thing as 'carry-out' until the mid 60s.)

After that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with brightly colored lead-based paints.
(And they were used over and over again by other family members and neighbors. Probably much better made!)

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitch-hiking.
(OK this is a mouthful. Medicine and toxic detergents were placed out of reach for babies and children learned at an early age what cabinets or drawers were off limits. I swear my mother counted all the pills in each bottle anyway! We didn't dare touch!

Let's just make the clear statement that helmets are a very good safety feature! We heard many stories of serious injuries from bike crashes.

Hitchhiking was a fairly acceptable form of transportation but not for girls. My brothers and their friends did it frequently to/from school. There was never any concern for pedophiles - what we didn't know was they were out there.... but well hidden.)

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
(And the traffic, road rage, and speed was 50 decimals lower!!! I remember traveling from MD to KS one summer - taking turns in the back of our Chevy station wagon in what we dubbed our 'play area'. We could stretch out, play games, and sleep comfortably. Made the trip much more fun! Those days are gone!)

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
(We did this a couple of times as teenagers - absolutely the coolest ride. Still see it occasionally with day laborers - very unsafe in today's traffic!)

Even being pulled behind a car on a sled....
(Yup, and just standing on the snow and letting the car pull you - but as I parent I see the danger now!)

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
(Never saw water sold in bottles - would have thought it crazy to pay money for water! Besides, water was not hyped up to be that good for you. We were the Coke and Pepsi generation.)

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
(Sorry, I didn't! Not a good idea then or now. This is a guy writing this.)

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
(There was never great concern for 'healthy' or 'low-fat' foods. We enjoyed the scheduled

5 pm dinners each day which always included some type of dessert! But I can certainly relate to the fact that we were ALWAYS outside playing. Weekends and during vacations, we were sprung from the house by 9 am, expected back sharply at noon for lunch, then expected to vacate again until 4:30 - when it was time to wash up for dinner at 5 pm. With DayLight Saving Time we were allowed an additional hour or two after dinner which was a special treat. My mother would often LOCK THE DOORS on hot summer days to force us to stay outside. This was, believe it or not, acceptable behavior in the neighborhood. Her rationale was that it gave her peace and quiet as well as time to clean the house uninterrupted! We played in playgrounds, rode our bikes, skated, climbed trees, explored the woods - you name it! We had 50 kids on our street all in the same age range of 5 years older or younger - rarely hurt for a playmate.)

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or internet chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
(Inside playing was limited to rainy days. And watching TV was sacred! We were die-hard Mickey Mouse Club fans which evolved into the American Bandstand! But TV equated to 4-5 stations at the most - if you were lucky to receive good reception! Ah!! Remember the rabbit ears! Our TV viewing was very limited as well)

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. (People accepted responsibility for their own actions. We've learned of late that we don't have to anymore.)

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and dirt and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever.
(Again, this is a guy writing this. Trust me, I never ate worms or dirt! But I will say that many of our games included makeshift equipment! And cowboys & Indians as well as Military warfare was great neighborhood fun. We were all equipped with guns, ammunition and appropriate dress and spent many hours, in groups of 4 to 5, planning attacks and ambushes around the neighborhood. Occasionally the boys let us join their groups - but usually we were ostracized! There were plenty of broken bones due to tree accidents - my brother being one of them.)

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
(No such thing as 'playdates' - our play was spontaneous and expected. Each house had rules as to which door to use and what times were off limits. Each week I walked by myself a mile to my piano lesson {I would have been 10-13 then.} Our neighborhood swimming pool was a good 1 1/2 miles from home and we had to walk there and back if we wanted to enjoy a swim. Families didn't have two cars in those days so if we wanted to go somewhere during the day we had to hoof it. Occasionally we had to walk to/from highschool which was over 2 miles - I remember getting a kick out of the wolf calls from truck drivers! What did I know? )

Little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. (I don't know about this one. I think youth sports is so much better now because unhealthy competition is discouraged and everyone is given a chance to play.)

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. (Yeah! Yeah! Every generation likes to take the credit! Why can't we admit that there are good and bad things about every era - that knowledge is powerful and should not be ridiculed. We can't bring back the simple Happy Days life of the 50s. We need to look forward - having learned from the past - and make today the best day possible! I think the life my granddaughters have is fantastic - it's different than my childhood but still incorporates creativety and companionship! And I feel there is a tightness in families with much better communication between the generations than in our youth. This is a GOOD thing! )

Dream about a day when...

2005-06-30T22:12:00.000-04:00

Dream about a day when we'll be,

Calm, serene, completely carefree.

Just for fun, think of one, ordinary day.

Ask yourself what it would feel like,

Dream the dream with all of your might

Close your eyes, visualize, just one normal day.

Sometimes I get on my knees and pray for that one ordinary day

When all the pain will finally cease,

And we'll be free, to love in peace.

Just for fun, think of one, ordinary day.

******************

Day at the Zoo!

2005-06-28T22:21:00.000-04:00

We saw the mighty cat.... (high on the ridge watching us!)

The wolves were probably the most interesting along with the Giant Panda munching on bamboo!

These were the older kids favorites! We ventured on ahead of the others and eventually met at the ice cream stand. Great time had by all and great fun to meet new blogger friends!

OK so I'm actually really trying to do this blog stuff - pretty good huh? Learned how to copy pictures from websites - watch out blogger world - here I come! Figuring out how to move and position them must come in a later chapter! Yikes.

Here's What I'm Doing in TWO Weeks!

2005-06-26T22:30:00.000-04:00

ALEXANDRIA SINGERS PERFORM

RETRO REVUE (Everything Old is New Again)
Saturday, July 9 at 8 p.m.Sunday, July 10 at 2 p.m.
Join The Alexandria Singers for "Retro Revue "Featuring music from The Phantom of the Opera, Hairspray, Sweet Charity, Mamma Mia!, and the Songs of George Gershwin, Cole Porter, Rodgers & Hammerstein,and MORE!!

For five years now I have performed in a mixed chorus - about 60 strong - singing Rock, Jazz, Showtunes, Spirituals and some Country. At Christmas we devote an entire show to Holiday music! We sing AND we dance. You don't see me up there dancing because I am actually the back row of the front row. They prefer to keep me in the background. If you want to find out more about our group go HERE.

I feel so darn good today!

2005-06-22T19:58:00.000-04:00

Besides the fact that I just charged $1,500 for new frames and lenses (3 pairs which I need for computer and regular vision!), I had a great day!

I love my job and how good it makes me feel about myself! I was thinking that as I drove to work this morning and tried to pinpoint the reasons for this.

1) There is a whole bunch (70+) of people with whom I interact and 90% of them are fantastic people; 9% I still don't know yet (remember we just merged with this office in April - 60 new people are a lot to learn to know!); and that annoying 1% - hey, who can't deal with these kind of percentages! When I think of the past employments which I endured (painfully) for the sake of being close to my daughters' day care or schools, this job far surpasses any of the them in the area of professionalism, respect and really neat people. I have had my share of abusive behavior from bosses and fellow employees - emotionally, physically, and yes even sexually. (Like the bozzo boss who would prop his foot up on my desk so that my center of vision was directly focused on his magnificent tools- try to carry on a business conversation while being flashed!) Treatment of women in the workplace has come a long way since I stepped into the arena in 1970. I would say that there is still significant disparity especially in payscales and lack of women in higher management positions but my generation has made great strides for our daughters!

Enough - enough! 2) I'm awesomely respected for my work product by the sales staff! I put together a marketing package and accompanied one of my new producer friends to a large Social Service account to bid on their business. I couldn't have done this a few years ago but my self-confidence has improved and my public-speaking skills are getting better with every presentation. The CEO was very impressed with our layout and response to questions and we should know tomorrow if we get the account. WHAT FUN! (Let's not talk about what's calling out from my desk while I'm gone!)

3) Number 3 is the sum of 1 & 2. When you have good people to work with; when you are challenged professionally and when you are respected and appreciated (oh yes, and get compensated adequately) you are where you need to be!

So the work thing is moving along well aside from the fact that I could use help (they know that!). I'm extremely consumed practically every evening with something to do with our Singers show which comes up July 9/10. Lots of memorization and learning those darn dance steps. My lovely daughters will be in the audience watching and waiting for Mom to mess up - and I usually don't disappoint them!

After the show is done I have a nice surprise awaiting me on the following weekend. My sister-in-law is coming to visit for a couple of days. Although we lived in different States, we have shared 'kid growing up' experiences; talked out the empty nest anxieties; shared our 'new life' goals and analyized every aspect of our disfunctional family - laughing through most of our conversations. She is an inspiration to me and a truly 'died-in-the-wool' friend. (Where does that saying come from, anyway?)

So life is good!

Sisters

2005-06-21T22:27:00.000-04:00

We have never enjoyed the traditional 'sister' relationship. Ours is a 'joined at the hip' tolerance filled with friction, competition and poor communication. And yet we're twins. Probably the one point of commonality is our reaction to and frustration with our mother!

Ironic that she is my one and only sister and this is the best we can be. There is someone inside of her that is crying to come out but either can't or is afraid to try. There is no doubt that she cares deeply for my family and has given much of herself over the years. But who she is has escaped me!

We can't even have a heart to heart talk. She has no understanding as to why I had to part with husband #2 - except that it blew up her plans to live with us in retirement. Sorry about that. I admit - I finally made a choice for me - hard as that was!

How can two people be so utterly different?

I invited her over for the weekend - she came but wouldn't spend the night (no reason). We hung what seemed like a million pictures - I treated her to dinner and she went home. It seems that she is fine 'doing things' but does not want to be in a 'social' setting.

I have to learn to accept her for who she is - I'm trying.

MommaK Maria!

2005-06-19T21:12:00.000-04:00

One of MommaK's fondest memories surround her early years in gradeschool when she performed with the music/drama group in the Spring of her 6th, 7th and 8th grades. The staff did an unbelievable job of taking over 100 children and producing a full flown musical. As tradition required, only 8th graders could audition for the major roles (unless of course you were a boy who wasn't struggling with puberty!). Parents joined in with the production staff to make props, sew costumes and assist in the marketing of the show.

MommaK and all her friends were dizzy with excitement when the name of the musical was announced (Sound of Music) as there were many opportunities for good female parts. I remember vividly the afternoon of final auditions for the key rolls. Waiting in the parking lot and anxious for my daughter I thought of how I could best handle her disappointment if she only landed a minor role. As she approached the car I could not get a read from her so I waited patiently for her to get in and close the door. I slowly asked "How did it go honey? She started crying and gasped that "I got the part, I got it". "What did you get", I tried to calm her down.
"MARIA, I'M MARIA'!

I can still remember the shock and exhilaration that went from my toes to the hairs on my head. Oh my God! She has the lead! This followed quickly by the same sense of dread that I was reading from her. Do they know what they are doing? She's never had a major role and they think she can do this? We sat together in that car for about 20- minutes crying, laughing and trying to calm each other down!

No parents were allowed at the rehearsals - which was killing me! I would never see MommaK practing her lines or singing at home (when is she going to learn the part??) What I didn't know then but realized later is that she is gifted with a photographic memory.

I wanted to make the absolute best costume for Maria - which I did! It was a beautiful peasant dress trimmed with bright ribbons. It was darling on her! And the postulant outfit was a snap. What posed to be a big problem was the all important wedding gown. We pulled out her grandmother's as they were about the same size - however, Nana was slightly smaller on her wedding day- wouldn't fit. Mine had a stain that wouldn't respond to any Heloise tricks besides MommK wasn't thrilled to wear anything that was remotely connected to Father #1. So the plea went out to the school for a wedding dress to borrow. I don't remember the mother who kindly donated her dress but I'll never forget the first time MommaK tried it on - I cried!!

I finally peeped into the auditorium one afternoon a few minutes before rehearsal was finished and was flabbergasted by what I saw and heard. There was MommaK, guitar in hand, singing Do Re Mi with such a strong melodic voice, interacting with the children and exhibiting a very comfortable stage presence. I froze in total amazement! One of those moments I will never forget. She's got it! And she's a natural!

They performed the show EIGHT times and I was there for every show, crying as she walked down the aisle in that wedding dress - thrilled and proud beyond belief. What mother gets the chance to see her daughter get married eight times!! She never missed a line; she cleverly adlibed when others did (!) . Every show was slightly different depending on unexpected crisis like delayed entrances and props, lighting or special effects that didn't go quite right.

What a great gift she gave me that year and fond memories that will last a lifetime

Manly Action!

2005-06-18T21:50:00.000-04:00

Not exactly in the way you might think but non-the-less very touching.

As I approached my car in the parking lot of my sister's condo, I saw two elderly women hovering over a man on the ground. I called out and asked if I should call 911 and they answered, "No, we just need help getting him up". I ran over to them and noticed that the two women were quite frail and small whereas the man was probably 6 feet and close to 180 lbs. "He just needs help to get to his feet" his wife explained. I took his right arm in mine and circled his waist with my left arm. "OK, mam, at the count of three let's pull him up" (I'm thinking how in the world am I going to lift this guy! Am I crazy - I'm not sure I can do this!) We got him about halfway up - and he was totally placing every bit of his weight on me - it seemed his legs were like jelly. It dawned on me that I can't give any more strength - the man is going to fall down on this concrete - I can't let that happen. I closed my eyes and told myself to just give it everything and don't let up. What seemed like an excruciatingly long time in finally stablizing him on his feet was probably only a minute or so but I was too numb from the experience to really noice. Holy God! How did I do that! Where did I get the strength? The wife pulled up each of his pant legs "Checking to see if they didn't come out" (HUH?) "He has arificial legs". Oh Crap - no wonder he was limp as a dishrag!

He wasn't letting go of me either (nor was I convinced he should)! I helped him walk into the building where a wheel chair was waiting for him. As we hobbled towards the door able-bodied men seem to come out of nowhere asking if they could help - where were they 10 minutes ago?
We introduced ourselves to each other and Frank kidded that it sure was nice having such a good looking woman with her arms around him. I laughed and said that it felt good to have a man depend on me and enjoy my caring !

So there you have it! I did get a little manly action today. (I hope Frank will be ok!)

She Really is Leaving!!

2005-06-16T22:31:00.000-04:00

My youngest has planned to move to Tennessee for years - it's been her dream. And now it's becoming a reality. She and I had flown down to Nashville in March to scout the city, check out the campus (MSTU) as well as apartments in the area. Since that time she has applied and been accepted into the Music Industry program - another undergraduate program, This weekend she flys solo down to her orientation at the school. She will place a deposit on an apartment and put in her applications at various high-end restaurants. (God, can she do all that without me? Since when?? She's my baby - where is she getting all this organization and spunk? )

We have considerable talent in our family - with MommaK as well as baby Bobbe. My middle darling, AM, played the flute through high school but did not inherit the singing voice her sisters have. (She has many other wonderful talents though!!) We have all enjoyed the Karaoke bars and perform at any opportunity but it's Bobbe who has won hands down in quite a few Country singing competitions. She even sang with the band at Tootsie's in Nashville (where every County Singer gets their start) Made a momma proud!

And you should see MommaK's little daughters belt out the songs. They have an interactive software (what's it called?) which is like Karaoke but you compete with each other and the game rates you as you are singing and scores you at completion. Man, it is tough to beat the 10 year old. I can still beat the 5 year old since she can't read the words yet! (HA!)

Now back to Bobbe! She is in love with anything that is Country - her idol is Patsy Kline and she does a mean imitation! But she is not seeking stardom but would rather immerse herself in the music culture and become a managing agent. She plans to attend college full time to complete the degree in 2 years while waiting tables to pay the rent and eat once in a while. MTSU guarantees job placement! (Music to my ears!)

So lets give her THREE CHEERS for her enthusiasm and dreams. May they come true soon and may she find a rich and loving country guy to make her happy for ever and ever!

Father's Day Blues

2005-06-15T20:05:00.000-04:00

It's gone! Any semblence of the All American Father's Day gathering with cook-out, backyard games, too much food but lots of laughing and story telling. Followed by exhaustion, cleanup and contentment. (This is really a long ago memory - nothing of recent vintage)

He's there. I'm here and the girl's are busy with their lives. I hurt that the day will pass without anything. I don't necessarily hurt for him although I wish that he could have some positive interaction with his daughters this day. There were many good things he did for them unselfishly as they grew up. I think of the trips to the mountains, the talent shows nightly, karote classes, teaching each of them how to drive, all the many music performances he attended. Does it just have to end now? Do we all allow our pride and subbornness to take charge? Is it necessary for us to feel that we must 'get something out of this' before taking the step to be the bigger person?

This is the second time in their lives where a father has abandoned them - turned his back and refused to communicate. What havoc it must be playing with their physchic! Thank God they have some good male role models to lean on! God I want to slap these men silly for their stupidity!

I have spent so many hours wishing and wanting for more 'fatherly' intervention for my girls but unfortunately they have been stung with disappointment too many times to catalog!

I'm just feeling a little blue today.

L I F E U P D A T E

2005-06-14T22:09:00.000-04:00

Let's see, the last you knew, I was orchestrating a sale of my Maryland home of 26 years, searching for a cozy condo in Virginia closer to work and closer to MommaK and clan, and moving my office and being swallowed up by a firm six times our size. All of this in the month of April - 2 months after saying my final goodbye to my tenant husband you had been leasing a futon in the basement for 3 months. (This will need further explanation later).

From outward appearances you would not realize what was going on in my life as I do a very good job at internalizing my stress. I am glad to say that I finally am beginning to sleep through the night without hours of insomnia. I was about ready to go to a sleep specialist! And my cursed IBS that kicked in (ouch!) a good year ago is finally subsiding. I have found that exercise is a big healer of the mind and body and am trying to get back to Jazzercize - found a great place nearby.

But what has been going on! I seem to be an extremely busy lady these days and wonder, with just me to take care of, how I managed with three children for a good twenty-some years. I know I devote more time at work; my Singers group requires a 2-3 night commitment per week at least until our show in July!

But my initial focus has been redecorating my new condo ! Picking out furniture, window treatments, installing closet organizers. FUN! I'm on a 12-14 week hold until the furniture arrives - I'll forget what I ordered! I love the security my condo gives me from the underground garage to the ADT alarm system. I moved from the highest crime area in the DC area and was always fearful of a breakin or assault when getting out of my car.

There is an overabundance of new restaurants, malls, specialty grocery stores - all within a 5 mile radius. This is a very international neighborhood, bordering the Dulles Airport so there is every authentic Thai, Indian, Vietnamese, Chinese, Hispanic restaurant you can imagine INCLUDING 'Take out Taxi" food service - I'm loving it! I fall out of bed and I'm at the movie theater - that is magical to my granddaughters - it doesn't get any better - that and my cute pool!

With all this change of scenery and significant change of lifestyle I'm struggling with the 'single, solitary by-yourself' syndrone. I don't necessarily want to be single. I never actually have been. Maybe it grows on you - right now it seems odd. For the short 4 years between #1 & #2 husband I had my three daughters to keep me busy, entertained and certainly company. I went from home to convent back to home and then to marriage #1. There are ups and downs as I see it right now. I enjoy the independence and I look forward to the peace and quiet and comfort my new home gives me. I am spending more time nurturing the 'girl' friendships I have - especially with other single women. There have been plenty of nights out, movies, shopping and dining. I'm available for my girls and my granddaughters at a moments notice and enjoy the close bonds we share. But I miss the interaction of a spouse, the need to please, nurture and draw support. I wonder at this stage in my life if it is possible to find a true soul mate. I did so horribly in choosing the first two - although I have to admit that #2 was a little better than #1 - at least he didn't cheat on me - (if cheating is worse than turning into a nut case). What are the chances that another man exists out there that could both stimulate me - emotionally and intellectually - and also worship the ground on which I walk! I don't wish for too much.

Good night!

Dentist Alert!

2005-06-13T17:49:00.000-04:00

Do you ever play tricks on your kids? Sometimes the opportunity just presents itself, you know. You don't spend hours fabricating the plan, it just happens and you play along!

I have three adult (young adult) daughters and while two were still in college I continued to take care of their medical and dental appointments. My job had recently changed and I signed up for dental insurance for the first time - what a novelty benefit! Never had that luxury before. I proceeded to make check-up appointments for each of us and, because of work and school schedules I had to make 3 separate appointments - with mine being first.

What are three signs of a bad dentist???

1) he shares his space with a Real Estate office.
2) there's no hygenist - the dentist cleans your teeth.
3) the dentist can't quite operate the water spray so your face and chest are soaked by the end of the 5 minute cleaning.

Now a good mother would immediately cancel the appointments for her daughters, recognizing the obvious incompetence. I, on the other hand, saw humor in awaiting their reactions! It was FREE anyway! One thing I did mention to them was not to allow the dentist to do any work on them - reschedule the appointment for later (I gave an insurance compliance excuse). God knows I wouldn't want that to happen!

I still laugh when recalling the phone calls I received. They were spitting (literally) disgusted! I swore the first to secrecy - so we together could enjoy the last victim! Each experienced the exact same treatment - came away drenched and swore they would never set foot in there again. What fun!

Maybe if I'm lucky another such opportunity will come along soon..... hopefully before they try to get even.

Special Weekends!

2005-06-12T21:47:00.000-04:00

OK I'm exhausted! I admit it. That bed looks so inviting - I so want to crawl into it. But I'm here and I just want to share a few thoughts from my recent weekends.

MommaK and I arrange special one-on-one weekends for each of her daughters so that while I'm spoiling them to bits on my end, MommaK can do something with the other daughter that may have been a little tough with the 'other one' around. You know the whole sister routine.

So last weekend it was the 5 year old's turn and she was delighted to be first and thought nothing of practically pushing her sister and mother out of my unit to get the weekend started. Her weekend was crammed with adventure walks to the park, an afternoon at the town festival which included rides, games, face painting, bus ride (!), movie and Cold Stone ice cream while MommaK and big sister went shopping for the afternoon. The weekend ended with a nice afteroon enjoying my pool for the first time. Strange pool, though. The entire pool was 3 - 1/2 feet! I think that's taking safety a little too far - especially with a lifeguard there. Oh well, it didn't seem to matter to them.

THIS weekend I drove the 10 year old (going on 20) to the beach for her great-grandmother's birthday. My mother owns a condo on the ocean which has been a summer haven for all my girls as they have grown up. How we wish we could afford to buy the place at some point! I promised her two things would happen at the beach if she was patient with Nana. I would swim with her in the pool and take her to the boardwalk. God! That water was cold but I did it! Played 'find the goggles', raced and graded her cannonball jumps! She was so absolutely genuinely ecstatic that I spent the time with her. It brought back so many wonderful memories of my own father in this very same pool romping and playing with my daughers! I guess he was probably as exhausted as I am feeling now but I wonder if he had the same smile on his face. Yes, I'm sure he did.

The Dreaded.... PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL

2005-06-09T22:33:00.000-04:00

I'm sure there are books written on all the dynamics that go into the one-on-one annual evaluation of performance. I've worked long enough to have been on both sides of the table to appreciate the anxiety, the word games, and often the personal issues that insert subjectivety. Our small company was swallowed up by a national firm so we now can experience the ultimate in performance reviews. Three months prior we were tasked to complete a nine part self-evaluation which took close to seven hours to complete. Today we each met with our new and our 'old' operation manger to hear how they (really just the 'old' one) agreed and disagreed with our own self-read. I had already decided to not de-value myself (we women have a tendency to be humble and it gets us nowhere!). So I chose "Best in Class' for many of the job categories - this was one of the selected criteria from which we could choose. Reminds me of a horse show! But what the heck!

It's always easy to sit and hear kudos on your work efforts and I certainly received my share for which I am thankful. But it's also true to form that they have to place a few 'not so nice' traits on the table; turn 'em over, and slice/dice them just because - well, nobody's perfect and we need to set a goal for some type of improvement! I won't bore you with the good traits but I'll gladly share the bad ones (since it's not PC to talk about them in the office!)

Here's # 1: You tend to intimidate the lower level clerical staff with your level of expertise and you need to have more patience with them. You need to give them more lead time on your projects. Suggested goal - spend more time teaching and explaining the basics to them.
and #2: We recognize that you have been understaffed and promised help for over two years; but you need to stop venting your frustrations to management - you often have a negative attitude! It seems that the level of your frustration is increasing.

Hello! Wake up call! These are not bad traits - they are a cry for help! I disagreed that I should be criticized for being placed in a lose-lose job situation. And I assured both of the ladies that as soon as they 'fixed' the staffing problem, my 'bad' traits would all but disappear. But Hey! It's another whole year until the next one - I'll start buying the clerical staff little presents - be sure to compliment them each day on some little thing - shut up when management asks me my opinion - honesty is not often what they want to hear.

The last page of the evaluation scores you on one of several levels and shows you the percentage of employees that upper management expects to be in that category. About 65% make "Fully Achieved", 20% make "Surpassed" and only 2% make the coveted "FarSurpassed". The other categories which make up the remaining 13% are the under achievers that are pretty well straddling the fence. I fell into the second category which hopefully will equate to a monetary change for the better. So, I'm pleased and will just try to put his uncomfortable experience behind me! How about you?

What is in knowing my Name?

2005-06-08T21:49:00.000-04:00

I asked that question tonight as I limped home from Jazzercise a bit in awe of my instructor who welcomed me by name as I arrived for class. She had only taught the class one other night - how did she remember me out of all the women in the room? I know I'm a newbie but still was pleasantly impressed by her memory skills! And felt a fit special! It's a little thing but it's a mood lifter!

April was a series of 'moves' for me:

- leaving my Maryland home of 26 years to settle in totally unknown territory in
the outer reaches of Virginia
- making that major decision to come alone and
start my new life
- and my office moved as well.
The Mother company, who had gobbled us up several years ago, became hungry again and purchased an agency six times our size (60 vs 10 employees). Suddenly we were transported from a beautiful riverview suite to a 3 story building overlooking the Beltway. For a good two weeks I was walking in circles until I finally got the lay of the land but HOW do you learn the names of 60 new people? We have played all kinds of name games to make the connection - I am determined to master each person's name. I think I have most of the third flour now but I'm still seeing people for the first time that must exist somewhere in the bowels of the 2nd or 1st floors. I know how much it means to ME when someone knows my name - I keep trying to learn. I don't mind asking people - 'hey what's your name again?' except when they speak my name first without hesitation! We resorted to placing everyone's name at their door or cubicle. So now, if I meet someone whose name escapes me, I follow them (discreetly) back to their desk, check out the name and make a mental note. It's been two months now - give me another two months.

Thanks to everyone who visited and encouraged me to jump back on! I have been so crazily busy but in the next few weeks I'll start to give you the lowdown. You're right - it's great to be back!

Persistence Wins!

2005-06-07T21:57:00.000-04:00

You have to love her!! She has encouraged and supported me - she's such a good friend even though she is a bit of a gentle NAG! OK! It's late on my usual Singers night (I'm a wanna-be jazz and rock star on the side) but I am making the 're-plunge' into blogging. You promised you would teach me all the cool tricks you do on your site - if you want your many new blogg friends to visit me I have to learn some camera and copying techniques! I know it's a challenge! But think of all the patience that it took to raise you, young lady! Now you need to turn the "why doesn't my VCR work- why it's not connected to the TV!" hopelessly non-technical mother into a functioning blogger and guide her into the frightening world of the "X" generation!

Now I have all night to think about what I will write tomorrow!! Your friends must be sending me emails to my old email address. I'll have to fix my profile. Good night!

Hello???

2005-06-07T17:00:00.000-04:00

Hello?? Are you there? Pick up if you're there? If you can read this, put your fingers on the keyboard and type something. Okay, well I guess you're not there. Just contacting you to say that I miss hearing from you. When you do get back and read this, please post something again soon.

Love,
MommaK

See ya!

2005-03-22T11:52:00.000-05:00

Wow! In one week's time I have a solid contract on my house! 25 years of our life is being packaged up and delivered to the settlement table in less than a month. I want to take the new owner on a tour of the house and share the memories created here - do you think she would care? I sense that I am handing over the torch and have a responsibility to tell her each of every story that rests here. While there is a recognized need and desire to leave, a very dear part of my life is wrapped up in these walls. Very many growing-up happy memories far outweigh the unworkable relationships and the sad goodbyes to a dear BeBob who spent cherished time with us here.

Focus ! Focus ! You need to find a home - you are hopping on a plane tonight destined for Nashville! Focus ! Get packed and let yourself float along this unbelievable journey. Check the box - one more mission accomplished - don't count the ones still left. Take a breath and go with the flow!

Tea Party Princesses

2005-03-20T19:42:00.000-05:00

We have started a little tradition recently, my eldest granddaughter and I. We dust off the antique china, decorate the table, put on our best Victorian manners, and slip back into the 18th century of proper Tea Parties. It was actually her idea and I hesitated at first....eight years old handling this fine china? I laugh when I think of my youth and how I stared at these same pieces of beauty imprisoned behind the glass of the china closet. There were serious rules prohibiting anything beyond a passing view - except of course a repeated request for the history of each item. That information was given freely and with sentiment - eventually to be written down for posterity.

Many of these mementos from my mother's family were given to me upon my Grandmother's passing and it is somewhat odd to think that I never performed this tea party ritual (or even thought to!) with my own three daughters. I don't recall that any of us thought about it. The china continued to remain imprisoned.

But with my granddaughter the spark is back! Last night we bravely invited the five year old sister to join us and the event was transformed to a higher, magical level! Not without caution, however. We have a separate child's china tea set which she was perfectly content to use - I will need a few more years before this one handles the real stuff! A white cloth was placed on table and we decorated the place settings with pretty napkins, dishes and silverware. We looked over the assortment of dishes and a chose a pink floral cookie dish to display our recently purchased girl scout cookies (What is Tea without cookies?). Now for the story line. I was the Queen Mother and each of my granddaughters chose Princess names and identities to match. One chose to be a good princess - the other tried but seemed to gravitate toward being a very bad princess. They each were seeking special powers and much time was spent on how these powers were to be used. Not to worry - the powers only lasted for an evening!

I leave my fairytale weekend and jump head first into the craziness of my life. After only one week 'on the block' and realtors descending on my house in surprising numbers, rumor has it that I am reviewing contracts tomorrow night! Whoa! Slow down life! This process doesn't need to go so fast!! I need to add 2 days to each week and 5 more hours to each day - how can that be arranged - where are those girls with their super powers when I need them!

Life is a Balancing Act

2005-03-18T20:48:00.000-05:00

Do you start out each day planning what you want to accomplish? Before I even leave the bed in the morning I lay there in constructive thought assessing the ever evolving list of jobs and choosing the more 'immediate need' projects. Then I assign start and finish times with often quite creative overlaps! (After all I AM a woman) I differ from my husband (a bit awkward yet for me to use the word 'former' although quite appropriate)who would pile three times the number of projects on his plate - as he would sermonize me each Saturday. (Some people serenade - he sermonized!) And he would feel despondent at the end of the day because he was only able to master 2 or 3 out of the 10 he listed.

I like the number 3 and try to shape my life around this lucky numeral. I had 3 siblings, 3 daughters (one of these days 3 grandchildren - come on you guys!!) I don't know - it's just a reasonable number. I have personal tasks and business tasks and use this philosophy on each. At the end of the day, if I can say that I met my #3 goals I can easily discount or accept the failures and not so happy experiences of the day. Today my 3 personal tasks were (1) make that doctor's appointment to get your allergy meds or you are going to be darn sorry very soon (2) check in with the car dealership for the next tuneup - got a 2 week reprieve! (3) take your diplomas whose frames are rotting off the wall and have them all reframed.
Now these are not major accomplishments but certainly nagging issues for longer than I'd like to admit. Check them off the list! Yikes 10 more moved up the list.

Tomorrow and Sunday are Total Vacation days!! I must leave my house as the vulture realtors will descend so I am meeting my sweet granddaughters for fun and adventure at the movies and then back home to giggling, tea parties, games and eventually exhaustion (mine!). Sunday brings a special live performance of Beauty and the Beast at a local dinner theater. I'm anxious to watch their expressions as the cast will be so close to them. Priceless, wonderful time.

2005-03-12T21:34:00.000-05:00

A Big Day!

Episodes in the Scrapbook of Memories

2005-03-11T20:31:00.000-05:00

I like the idea of blogging because I can detail everyday happenings and those special life changing events before my memory quits on me. When DO you know whether it's just stress and too much going on OR the dreaded Alzheimer’s setting in?

Tomorrow is a day of festivities, joy and 'passage'. We welcome the newborn son of my niece and her husband. Cousins, aunts, grandmother, brother and assorted animals (!) will all be on hand to cuddle and caress our very newest family member. We'll prepare a crazy concuction of food to appeal to all the palettes - making sure to compliment, cook and serve the grandmother's donation according to her specified directions. And there is always that family member who procrastinates committing to come and may or may not show up, family in tow, at the last minute. So be it. We welcome all!

So much is happening! Last night I took the giant step of placing my house & home of 25 years on the market. The birdies have all flown the nest (three swans and a duck!) - it is time to find a smaller, easier to maintain, home. 25 years of memories - mostly good! But memories are 'mobile' - they will move with me to my new home. It's a momentous but exciting process! Calling all daughters to help your mama pack!! Hopefully the 'For Sale' sign will be up tomorrow as the family contingents arrive!

Sentimental Journey

2005-03-07T20:08:00.000-05:00

My mother is thinking more these days about her passing and is very concerned that we, her children, understand the value and history behind all the special items in her home. She has quite a collection of jewelry, china, silver, antique furniture and decorative items from abroad - many of them gifts from a military husband who knew how to please her in his absence.

Over 25 years ago, when my father was still with us, my parents decided to designate their personal belongings to their four children in what we remember as a very uncomfortable lottery system. They had just reached thier early 60s and we all had little ones who adored their grandparents. No one wanted to dwell on this awful prospect of death. But we were asked, one by one, to go through their house and select items for which we had a particular fondness. My parents looked over our respective lists and then bartered with those who may have chosen the same item. I remember the French desk was a particular favorite and they devised some system for eventually willing it to my younger brother.

Years have passed and I'll be darned if I can remember what was on the original list! There are also so many stories behind Mom's antique collection that I suggested I spend the afternoon with her and journal the sentiments attached to each and every item. I also knew how much she enjoyed retelling the stories of her jewelry and china acquisitions.

She was in an especially good mood when I arrived and had laid out the folder which contained the 'lists'. There was some interesting comments written on the front of the folder:
"Very Important!" "To be opened upon my death! Mom" I kidded with her that I couldn't go any further!

So my task that I have agreed to undertake will involve typing up a property dispostion statement that will include a list of items designated to each family member complete with Mom's memory of the 'when and where'. I also managed to capture some candid comments as well. I believe she thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon and I learned about wonderful sentimental attachments that I can pass to my family and they can, in turn, pass on!

We consumated the pleasurable afternoon by cooking lobster for dinner!

As a parting gift my mother gave me a china floral broach - a bridal gift to her from her girlfriend, my namesake.

I called Mom tonight to let her know I received kudo compliments at work and I could feel her smiling!

Culpable or Gullible - You be the judge.

2005-03-06T20:39:00.000-05:00

I'm a sixties' child and I pride myself that I am among the generation that rose above bigotry, bias and racism. But I also admit that I was raised and indoctrinated into a very sheltered, Irish/German culture that was rich in ethnic bigotry and class struggle. I look at all people I encounter as unique individuals and form my relationship to them based on that uniqueness, not the color of their skin, their religious or ethnic background or financial status. But there are times when judgments 'pop' into my head without logic or forethought. Are these remnants of the formative years?

Take today (please take it!). Every city has it's deathtrap highway and I was driving on ours. Cruising along in the right lane I spotted debris about 300 feet in the road ahead - with a car and driver on the shoulder next to the item. A man was waving cars away from what I now could make out to be a mattress. Great! The fool was carrying a mattress on top of his car - we see loosely secured mattresses flopping dangerously everyday on highways with the driver holding on to the mattress with one arm and trying to drive with the other. Now I needed to quickly move into the next lane. I immediately looked in my left lane AND behind me and was not pleased! Cars and trucks everywhere! With my blinker signaling I pleaded for space to the left but two cars made it their mission to keep me from moving over. It's that split second decision time as I'm pumping my brakes - do I chance it and move left anyway (call their bluff) or drive over the mattress at a slow speed and hope to keep control of the car?

I chose the mattress! I kept control of the car and dragged the mangled mattress behind me as I moved onto the shoulder out of traffic. The man who had been waving traffic away from the scene came up to my window and, in broken, thickly accented English, suggested I roll the car back and forth and he would try and pull the mattress out. I was furious and shaking but decided to hold my wrath until after the car was freed. Stupid idiot! Does he think he can drive the Beltway like he rides his camel back home? I rocked back a forth a few times and am able to free the back tires of the mattress stuffing. I eye the wife who has exited the vehicle and is looking sheepishly at me. The man comes back to the car window and tells me that all is clear and I can go now. "That's great, I say. How do I know if I haven't done any damage to the underside of my car? I want to know your insurance information in case there is damage." His entire demeanor changed. He backed away from the window and I could see he was losing his composure. "What are you talking about? I saw the mattress in the road and I pulled over so I could warn cars that it was here. I was not carrying it" I was stunned! That had not occurred to me! I gave him a guilty half-smile/wave as I drove off - heavy with guilt as to my
assumption of HIS guilt but very grateful that the car was operating ok.

Thoughts were racing through my mind and I suddenly came to the frank conclusion that maybe I was just 'had'. Who in the United States of America pulls over on a busy highway to warn their fellow man that there is debris in the road?

So what do you think? Was I culpable or gullible?

Passing Friendships

2005-03-04T21:32:00.000-05:00

Seems as if life is a series of 'passing friendships'. They slide in and out of our daily routines almost unnoticed until you step away and look back at the history. Each has a meaning and an important role in your development. Some were there through specific periods of your life and faded as you moved to new surroundings or new job. Others appear and then disappear for indefinite periods of time only to reappear as if time froze (what special ones these are!)

I hate it when you come to a crossroads of a friendship when you know it's going to end. We said goodbye to a very dear co-worker today, a sweet giving person. Sure, "we'll keep in touch, we'll write". I've witnessed too many of these exits to know that nothing can compare to the day to day loving interaction of a good friend. This particular woman gave 23 years of herself to this job - came in at 18 straight from highschool. We will all miss her. I will grieve her passing.

Ironically, in 3 weeks we move our office (all 12 of us) across town and become 'wrapped in the arms' of a new office filled with 60 new friendships! Isn't life sweet and exciting! I am ready for the adventure!

The Eagle Soars!

2005-03-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

The beginning and the end has occurred. Tonight I have received the long awaited documents that signify an end to a relationship and herald the beginning of Act Four!

All stops are out (as we musicans say) - the gun has fired and the race has begun!

Tomorrow I contact the realtor and get moving on movin!!

Birthday Recovery

2005-02-28T18:21:00.000-05:00

Act IV has enjoyed an exciting jumpstart this past weekend. Although under the guise of a birthday celebration - a 4 day elongated one I might add - these tokens of friendship and love were an affirmation to me of the support and confidence that many have for my new adventure in this one life we have!

Whereas many of my new blog friends are dealing with the very real young family issues such as the birthing and tending to babies, the crazy hectic activities of family life and spousal relationships, I am at that crossroads in life where, technically, my child-rearing job is completed. I say 'technically' because it never really ends but actually evolves into different positions. I am the friend, sometimes the financier (very low interest rate!), the counselor, the family negotiator, and some say the family monarch ( although I believe I need to wait my turn on that one). But always the mother when crisis, heartache or sickness strikes. Always the mother when the good news is just bursting forth from within and I'm the first one they have to call. And as time goes on I do see my role being reversed occasionally when my girls take the parental role of support and guidance. I have no problem admitting that I need them ever so much as they need me! Our needs just change as we step into different phases of our lives.

Which brings me to ACT IV. The new beginning. I am in the process of leaving a 20 year relationship and heading into totally unknown territory. For the first time in my life, I am living alone. I swore I would never could do this - certainly not like it. So why am I now actually enjoying each household chore - each mechanical accomplishment (what you do when you have to!), unpack-ratting a house of 26 years occupancy? I have a mission - it's part of my organized plan of life. I need to sell this house (way too big for my needs) and move to a smaller, more secure condominium. I have a 'to do' list that keeps me awake at night but I have religiously been slicing away at it. I'm proud of each 'lined through' item! But there are still a couple of nagging legal issues that are slowly moving to resolution. They say patience is a virtue - I am overflowing with virtue then!

Working through marital separations can be quite stressful. That is an understatement! Perhaps I should write a book since this is my second round with spousal illusions and delusions.
What a monkey off my back though! I feel like my feet and hands have been untied and my wings unfurled. Here I come world!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2005-02-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday and as I blow out my 50+ candles, I celebrate being the mother, sister, daughter, aunt, grandmother & friend that I am. This is also my introduction to the world of blog. Thanks for visiting me on this special day. Please leave your comments and stop by again!